I have found that apologies only lead to the above statements. To him, my apologies are admissions of guilt, and they just give him more ammunition against me for later arguments.
This is what I meant by "Apology Phobia"
Early years spent apologizing for everything she demanded gave her the ammunition to call me a horrible person... .
Fast Forward to recent years: I don't apologize for anything at all ever... .(Nor make any promises or committal statements on anything ever)... .now she has no ammunition and I am a good person (White) most of the time. IRONIC.
This might create a combative environment for most people. It is far better to be more aware, clear and centered in what you are actually apologizing for, as non of us are perfect.
We are trying to create peace not win a war. I am surprised this works for you