communication schedule

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Has anyone had a communication schedule clause in a parenting plan? I refused texting months ago. Ex would send numerous texts, then tell me I was harassing him if I texted too late(8:00). He told me not to text while he was driving(as if I could know). So I moved to email. I emailed once at 8:11, and he immediately responded and said he was in bed and I disturbed him( checking his email in bed though). So then I started emailing in the morning. He told me to stop emailing directly after exchanges(9:00am every 3 days.) So then I started making sure I waited until the second day. He said if I could not address things immediately they must not be important. When she had an ear infection in january, i texted him something about it, and he said i should be concentrating on taking care of her. He has numerous times told me to address anything at the exchanges( I refuse to have discussions with daughter present). Now the other day he emails me and says" frankly I am disgusted by your emails when daughter is on my time, you are persistently trying to disrupt her happy time with me, your best bet is to take care of daughter on your time, as i do on my time". We exchange daughter every 3 days, she is going to be with one of us any time we need to communicate. I have asked him to tell me when works for him to communicate. He doesn't answer. I offered to pay for his half of OFW if we could use that. He refused.

[rarsweet]

Has anyone had a communication schedule clause in a parenting plan? I refused texting months ago. Ex would send numerous texts, then tell me I was harassing him if I texted too late(8:00). He told me not to text while he was driving(as if I could know). So I moved to email. I emailed once at 8:11, and he immediately responded and said he was in bed and I disturbed him( checking his email in bed though). So then I started emailing in the morning. He told me to stop emailing directly after exchanges(9:00am every 3 days.) So then I started making sure I waited until the second day. He said if I could not address things immediately they must not be important. When she had an ear infection in january, i texted him something about it, and he said i should be concentrating on taking care of her. He has numerous times told me to address anything at the exchanges( I refuse to have discussions with daughter present). Now the other day he emails me and says" frankly I am disgusted by your emails when daughter is on my time, you are persistently trying to disrupt her happy time with me, your best bet is to take care of daughter on your time, as i do on my time". We exchange daughter every 3 days, she is going to be with one of us any time we need to communicate. I have asked him to tell me when works for him to communicate. He doesn't answer. I offered to pay for his half of OFW if we could use that. He refused.

[Panda39]

Hi rarsweet,

Seems to me he's playing games and you're still somewhat in the FOG.

You go ahead and communicate what you need to as needed.  He is going to do what he is going to do. 

When he emails you about nothing and pretty much everything you mention here is about nothing but engaging you, don't respond.  Only respond to emails about your daughter.

Don't get worked up... .don't engage in his nonsense.

[ForeverDad]

Yes, what he's doing is Negative Engagement.  His responses are solely to sabotage you, he's not trying to be productive at all.  So as Panda wrote, just do what you have to do, don't let him rent space in your head for free  because otherwise you're running around in circles effectively sabotaging yourself trying to race after his ever-moving goal posts (sports analogy).