Texts from my Ex (Some sick stuff here)

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

I am 5 days into NC and what comes to my phone? This BS. She is insane.

: So?

6/13/2015, 12:30:33 PM

Me: You have you items what do you want now?

6/13/2015, 12:31:31 PM

: What do you think I want?

6/13/2015, 12:32:17 PM

Me: I have no idea

6/13/2015, 12:32:33 PM

: Well, are you done being... .ehm how should we say it... .

6/13/2015, 12:33:44 PM

: You didnt really 'seal the deal' dos you?

6/13/2015, 12:34:56 PM

Me: You are a pathological narcissists / borderline Dxxxxx you lied to me and controlled me for 3.5 years and your game is now up. You have no empathy. You are a psychopathic monster.Please go away and never contact me again.

6/13/2015, 12:35:39 PM

: I never even thought about cheating on you. I Have devoted my self to you. How can you be so fng wrong

6/13/2015, 12:37:23 PM

: And your delusional thought still persist?

6/13/2015, 12:38:30 PM

: So did you go screw somebody else?

6/13/2015, 12:38:57 PM

Me: You are sick Dxxxxxx. If you would have made an effort to get treatment I might have stood bye you in spite of all you have done but you have no conscious and no remorse.

6/13/2015, 12:39:33 PM

: If you did than all that you are describing me with is really describing you.

6/13/2015, 12:39:52 PM

: How can you truely believe What you say about me. When And how would i find the time to live up to all your accusations?

6/13/2015, 12:41:03 PM

Me: Yes you would say that but it is simply not true. Move on to your next victim now as you have no power over me. You have been unmasked

6/13/2015, 12:41:12 PM

: No Bxxx. You are very wrong. I just can bit believe you can teally think these things

6/13/2015, 12:41:38 PM

: Cal me off this number. To hard to tex

6/13/2015, 12:42:06 PM

: I figures a eren and you might start to realize just how midtsken you Have been

6/13/2015, 12:42:46 PM

: How can you know me and not even know anything about me? What you ser is What you want to believe

6/13/2015, 12:43:37 PM

: You dont even try to ser the real me

6/13/2015, 12:44:04 PM

Me: You are an actor Dxxxxxx. I know all about your type. I saw the real you the other day. No conscious. No empathy.

6/13/2015, 12:44:49 PM

: Have you? You still paint an evil pic of me that i will never be and never Have been

6/13/2015, 12:45:48 PM

Me: please stop contacting me. If you don't I will contact the police. I want nothing more to do with you. please honor my wishes.

6/13/2015, 12:46:31 PM

: You are like xxxxxx. Not a fing clue to tje reality of t

6/13/2015, 12:46:48 PM

: he World around you

6/13/2015, 12:46:49 PM

: You need psychiatric help Bxxx. I stuck with you through all Tour bs. And this is how ypu treta me

6/13/2015, 12:47:39 PM

: screwrd sonebody else

6/13/2015, 12:50:07 PM

: It is very sad how you are treating me. I Have been devoted to you. And all you see is somebody WHO is trying to  sXXW you over. So tell me Have you gone Amd

screwed someone?

6/13/2015, 12:50:07 PM

: Just be honest... for once Bxxxx. Everything is Easy if you just tell the truth

6/13/2015, 12:51:49 PM

: Basic puré simple truth.

6/13/2015, 12:52:18 PM

: Call me so that we can talk.

6/13/2015, 12:53:22 PM

: So this is how you treat your friend? And yes we are friends or at least I thought of you as my friend

6/13/2015, 12:57:09 PM

: Never mind. maybe someday you will realize just how wrong you are.

6/13/2015, 12:58:15 PM

The ___ cannot spell first of all and no I did not call the ___ back, So what is missing from this? No apology for the the verbal castration from a few days ago.

No remorse whatsoever. See how she turns it on me? This is a sick person giving out some sick ___. She is obsessed to find out if I am with another or as she puts it "seal the deal" oh so sick! And she ORDERS me to call her. Her pathology has no limit. SICK SICK SICK

[Infared]

Planet... .your situation is much worse than mine was, but I thought that I was with the sweetest girl in the whole world, and when I found out what was going on when I was not present I was dumbfounded and totally destroyed.  It is pathological in my book the way that they can just flip the switch and be this whole other person that they NEVER show you.  The signs are there, tough... .I just didn't want or know how to see them. Sorry you are going through this.

[FannyB]

Planet

Living with 'crazy' makes us crazy too in the end. Glad you got out in time and realise you dodged a bullet! 

[once removed]

so, planets, can you see where youre playing into this sickness?

youve instigated NC, but respond to any contact with telling her how crazy she is, a "psychopathic monster", followed by threats of police that arent followed up, just more "youre crazy, no im not, you are, no you are."

im not judging. i cant count how many times i called my ex a psycho and a monster. i guess i figured somewhere between calling her a psycho and a monster and telling her how bad she was for me, that shed see the light and treat me differently. i guess you could say i wasnt exactly seeing the light myself.

so whats this accomplishing, and if you really dont want her to contact you, whats your plan?

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

Thanks Infared yes it is so fing sick I want to vomit   here is more:

: I guess I will rationalize your weird distrust ny comparing you to Rxxx. The only other person WHO thought I could screw a stranger at a momentos motive. He w

6/13/2015, 1:21:24 PM

: as the One screwing around the whole time, proif was in the condoms i found. You are just like home ib tjis respect. So i DRAE the conclusion that you must ha

6/13/2015, 1:21:24 PM

: ve been at least trying to screw around the whole time. What a waste if my live and attention.

6/13/2015, 1:21:25 PM

Me: I would not allow a friend to treat me as you have. I will not tolerate your abuse any longer. Yes I agree a waste of almost 4 years

6/13/2015, 1:23:07 PM

Me: I asked you to leave me alone but you do not respect boundaries do you? Most psychopaths do not. Your power is gone. How does the removal of your narcissistic supply feel Dxxxxx? Like you are becoming invisible? Shrinking up into a singularity? Too bad. and it will get worse as the days go bye. As I grow stronger you grow weaker. Ha Ha HA b___. Now I have you!

6/13/2015, 1:26:33 PM


Oh God I hope she stops. She is INSANE. I cannot take much more leave ME ALONE! and the ___ still, still cannot SPELL!

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

Yes once removed I see my part of things. I suppose that I was weak for replying to her texts but so be it. I do not have a plan. I tried to block all of my numbers but apparently she got through. Did I have to reply no but I did OH WELL

[once removed]

i wouldnt call it weak. you are understandably angry. unfortunately you are projecting that anger toward someone who seems to just project it back to you. knowledge of BPD gave you an understandable sense of power, thats great but using it against her will get you nowhere fast. also, we arent therapists or doctors and therefore cant diagnose.

it sounds like youre anticipating the next contact and remaining primed to "win" the next skirmish. i get that, it made up a large portion of my relationship. if you truly dont want contact with her you have several options that dont involve taunting her.

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

Thank you FannyB

[ZeusRLX]

i wouldnt call it weak. you are understandably angry. unfortunately you are projecting that anger toward someone who seems to just project it back to you. knowledge of BPD gave you an understandable sense of power, thats great but using it against her will get you nowhere fast. also, we arent therapists or doctors and therefore cant diagnose.

it sounds like youre anticipating the next contact and remaining primed to "win" the next skirmish. i get that, it made up a large portion of my relationship. if you truly dont want contact with her you have several options that dont involve taunting her.

Yeah, I don't bother to JADEing (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain) with them... .

I usually just cut them off, leave them nothing to hold on to and move forward. 

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

I am completely devastated and wounded to the core from 3+ years of mindf*(k. Do I anticipate more contact perhaps do I look forward to it no. What do you suggest I do Once removed if I had a hole to crawl off into I would I do not sleep any  I am on the verge of a breakdown and may already be having one what do you suggest I do? I will certainly TRY not to reply if she texts again. Yes ZeusRLX that is the best policy I am going to shut down this other number but she will still get through. I need to be strong now as it is going to get worse unless I just ignore her

[Mutt]

Hi Planet,

I'm sorry to hear that. I read some and not all of the texts messages. She's emotionally dysregulated.

What do you mean that you are on the verge of a break-down?

You are a pathological narcissists / borderline

This stuck out for me. Is she diagnosed and in therapy?

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

And more still:

: ect boundaries. This was you. And you cant ser ir. WHO went into whose emails? Who gps who? I was not asking you back Bxxx. I thought maybe

6/13/2015, 2:14:50 PM

: Haha b___? Really Bxxx. Seems you own those traits you rey to attribute to me. No I dont feel weak nor invisible. It is weird how you say that i dont resp

6/13/2015, 2:14:49 PM

: We could start way back in the beginning before you fell into this spiral of disdain. Maybe if we could just rey to be friends then you will come to ser WHO I

6/13/2015, 2:16:33 PM

: really am. Not who you paint me to be.

6/13/2015, 2:16:34 PM

: Even Now if you sit and think you will Have a hard time sustaining that image you Have enslaved me to. You cant. So WHO looses here? You? WHO refuses to se

6/13/2015, 2:19:09 PM

: r the truth. Or me? Who knows the truth but cant get you to open your mind Long enough to see

6/13/2015, 2:19:09 PM

: We were friends a Long time ago. It is sad on how you Have become this distrusting creature

6/13/2015, 2:20:14 PM

: I thought over time you would finally ser that you could trust me. I put up with a lot just to reach that. Ir is very sad to ser that you might not be capable

6/13/2015, 2:22:50 PM

: of this. I Have list me best friend Bxxx. But I am not weak nor invisible. Just profoundly sad.

6/13/2015, 2:22:51 PM

So sick   So sick  

[FannyB]

I am completely devastated and wounded to the core from 3+ years of mindf*(k. Do I anticipate more contact perhaps do I look forward to it no. What do you suggest I do Once removed if I had a hole to crawl off into I would I do not sleep any  I am on the verge of a breakdown and may already be having one what do you suggest I do? I will certainly TRY not to reply if she texts again. Yes ZeusRLX that is the best policy I am going to shut down this other number but she will still get through. I need to be strong now as it is going to get worse unless I just ignore her

Can you get away on vacation and not take your phone? Sometimes we can't see the wood for the trees until we get some real distance from them. Had a week away from my ex last year just after she started acting up and it made me feel in control again!  Temporarily, anyway! 

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

No she is not diagnosed. No she is not in therapy. Yes I am profoundly sick of all this. No I did not reply to this last salvo. I am weak she has worn me down and now wants her toy back to play with I WILL NEVER GO BACK!

[Infared]

I changed my phone number, for me. it helped me take control back, and show myself that I was serious about taking care of me. I took a big gulp when I did it. ... .it was pretty hard for me to make that step forward.

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

Still more... .

: I hope you find happiness Bxxx. If staying away from me gives you the road to this end than I will be happy.

6/13/2015, 2:24:24 PM

: I Have to stop thinking that thus is not real. That distrust is something you use to manipulate me. That is What I Have been telling myself all this time.

6/13/2015, 2:26:48 PM

: Weird how you were the only part of my past I wanted to revisit. Sorry about all these Tex. Easiet to talk. Going to do yard work now Hope you think on us t

6/13/2015, 2:29:12 PM

: rying to reestablish some of our old friendship.

6/13/2015, 2:29:13 PM

See how she turns it around that it is MY manipulating her she is NUTS!  

[once removed]

i understand youre devastated, planets, and im sorry youve been through this. im not attempting to blame you here. the fact is, youre the only one you can control. i think thats empowering. i also see that youve tried blocking her, thats a good step. i dont have a lot of experience with blocking and all the apps and things, any idea how shes gotten through the blocks?

ignoring her is certainly one idea, but if you find yourself replying, there are other ways to go about it, that MIGHT even be more effective than blocking or ignoring. dont engage, avoid arguments/debates, avoid blame. just be boring. short. business like. offer nothing that can lead to discussions of blame or relationship talk, and if she engages in that, step away for a while, ignore it all together if you wish.

hope this helps. hang in there planets. i do support you  . youve found (imo) the best support group in the world. and if you want to vent, you have a great place to do it; venting the anger at her is likely to leave you feeling worse.

edit: you might try simply not reading her contacts. theyre just frustrating and excessive.

[Mutt]

No she is not diagnosed. No she is not in therapy. Yes I am profoundly sick of all this. No I did not reply to this last salvo. I am weak she has worn me down and now wants her toy back to play with I WILL NEVER GO BACK!

I can understand how frustrating this is. Telling someone that they are borderline may worsen the symptoms and make things worse. I was angry and told my ex partner that she had BPD as well. I suggest not telling someone that they have BPD for that reason.  I think putting distance is a good idea to stop the bleeding.

Do you have the option to block her number on your phone?

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

When I state that the mask has been removed I mean I see it all now. All the lies. All the manipulation tactics. She wants her toy back. NO APOLOGIES AT ALL! Nothing. Not a shred of empathy whatsoever. And if I was so stupid to return it would be on her terms total submission I HATE HER! No compromise. TOTAL SURRENDER I WOULD RATHER DIE THAN GIVE HER THAT SATISFACTION!

[Mutt]

Have you stopped texting?

[ZeusRLX]

No she is not diagnosed. No she is not in therapy. Yes I am profoundly sick of all this. No I did not reply to this last salvo. I am weak she has worn me down and now wants her toy back to play with I WILL NEVER GO BACK!

I can understand how frustrating this is. Telling someone that they are borderline may worsen the symptoms and make things worse. I was angry and told my ex partner that she had BPD as well. I suggest not telling someone that they have BPD for that reason.  I think putting distance is a good idea to stop the bleeding.

Yeah, in my experience telling them they have BPD if they are in denial about it just makes things worse.

[Mutt]

You are a psychopathic monster

How do you think it would feel like to be called a monster?

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

I have stopped texting but is probably a matter of time before I receive more. I do not understand though. She has other men to get her "supply" from why  does she not get what she needs from them? Of is it that she needs to have someone to control and she probably cannot control them because she cannot respect them so they cannot hurt her. I loved her. She destroyed me from a confidant person to a trembling weasel then told me she sees me as a little weak person and what a small cock I have. No apologies. Nothing. Is this real? I mean you can't make this s*#t up!

It is too much. There is noting and she wants TOTAL surrender TOTAL submission how do people get this ILL? She should be locked up!

[Mutt]

I can understand that you loved her and she caused you a lot of pain. I'm sorry to hear that.

Yes you are likely going to receive more. We can't control the actions of others and we can control our actions and responses.

I also understand that she has affected your self esteem and your self esteem will return. No contact is a tool to distance yourself, stop the bleeding with divisive exchanges and to allow yourself space and time to heal. Make sense?

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

Yes Mutt that makes sense Thank You!

[valet]

OP, do not separate delusion from reality.

Do not start arguments that you don't need.

You will realize this in time, but escalation is pointless.

As I have learned, differences in opinion = hate.

The cycle will end, but only when you are ready for it.

[Billygoat]

It's been some time since I had these kind of dysfunctional roundabout arguments but reading them (or re-reading them in a way) it's amazing what we all willfully engage in. That we give these mentally ill people time and any energy (your energy and time is precious Planets, truly Precious, why give her more - she's stealing energy from you - well, you're giving it actually) despite the often hideous way they've treated us.

It's no fun Planets. Im sorry you are engaged in this but if at all possible try to take a step back because no one is coming out of this conversation with any peace or dignity. I know those are the last two things you'll be used to being in a 3 year relationship with BPD but one of my biggest regrets since leaving isn't the pain or the time or even the effort, it's how low i let myself be dragged. We can only do our best, my advice, at least have a time out for yourself.

[PlanetsBendBetweenUs]

Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. I tried to block the offending number but texts still slip through. I am going to shut off the computer for the day and make it through another night. Again thank you all for your concern. I will be OK. I hope that the posts prove useful to someone as I feel they illustrate some important dynamics that sick people such as this use to try to control, dominate, manipulate and enslave the people who care about them the most. It is all so sick and so scary. There really are some messed up people walking around out there anongst us and they all do not look creepy of scary. BEWARE!