Red Flag Months Before I Met Her

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So, I just went through my work e-mails and deleted every message between my former friend BPD and me.   I searched for her name and came across an e-mail from the principal from May 2014, three months before ffBPD began student teaching.  It was an e-mail informing the department that we would be getting a student teacher in the fall and that she was supposed to be shadowing her mentor that day, but she was "unfortunately sick" and would have to reschedule.  Months before I met her,  I was given a red flag, and I didn't even know it at the time.  She uses the "sick" excuse for everything.

[SummerStorm]

So, I just went through my work e-mails and deleted every message between my former friend BPD and me.   I searched for her name and came across an e-mail from the principal from May 2014, three months before ffBPD began student teaching.  It was an e-mail informing the department that we would be getting a student teacher in the fall and that she was supposed to be shadowing her mentor that day, but she was "unfortunately sick" and would have to reschedule.  Months before I met her,  I was given a red flag, and I didn't even know it at the time.  She uses the "sick" excuse for everything.

[Mike-X]

Taking personal inventory by reflecting on the evolution of the relationship and the red flags ( ) might have missed or dismissed is a healthy part of healing. 

Thank you for posting this.

[Visitor]

I wouldn't agree that the first incident is a red flag. People use the sick excuse now and then we all do it. Itwould have been a red flag if she said to you "I always use the sick excuse" or you started to see it happen more than is normal.

[SummerStorm]

I wouldn't agree that the first incident is a red flag. People use the sick excuse now and then we all do it. Itwould have been a red flag if she said to you "I always use the sick excuse" or you started to see it happen more than is normal.

She did take off more than is normal.  Also, the first impression that the principal and everyone in the department had of her was not a good one.   In a few months, she missed 10 days, which is a lot for a teacher.  Also, all student teachers know that you do what your mentor teacher asks you to do, no questions asked. She also used this excuse when canceling plans with me, and she once told me that she's good at canceling plans.

[Loosestrife]

Taking personal inventory by reflecting on the evolution of the relationship and the red flags ( ) might have missed or dismissed is a healthy part of healing. 

Thank you for posting this.

I may try this once I'm feeling a little stronger