My uBPD SIL is becoming a therapist

[baconpony]

My brother's wife is currently in school to become a family therapist. The thought of her counseling other families sends chills up my spine. Our relationship with her has always been dysfunctional, she has no relationship at all with her family. Every relationship she has is strained. How common is it for people with BPD to become therapists themselves? She's starting to "therapy" us which makes me really angry. I've already limited my contact with her (which just pisses her off even more) for my own well-being, but unfortunately going NC is not a possibility at this point.

[Harri]

Hello baconpony.  I do not have exact figures or anything official, but it is my understanding that many people in helping fields are disordered/BPD.  Nurses, therapists, doctors, lawyers, etc.  I too would be very angry to have a family member, never mind one with BPD, try to do therapy on me.  Limiting contact is good.  Have you considered telling her to knock it off?  Or tell her it is unethical to 'treat' family members?

Wishing you luck with this.

[baconpony]

Thanks for your reply. I'm afraid saying anything like you suggested would cause a blow up. I could say this to any one else, but I pick and choose my words extremely carefully around her, and even then, she manages to twist them into something I didn't say and certainly didn't mean. We have a family vacation looming which I'm really looking forward to, except that she will be there and I'm looking for ways to survive. My current plan is to avoid her as much as possible for my own sanity, but later I will be accused of not paying enough attention to her. I can't win.

I do appreciate your suggestion that it is unethical to treat family members. I will keep this in mind.

[Turkish]

We have a communication tool, BIFF: Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. Its for writtecommunication, but I've found that it also can work verbally. SET can be incorporated as needed. Its a way to establish boundaries.

TOOLS: BIFF