Working with the ex BP

[carmen3498]

I am separated from my ex BP and unfortunately we also work at the same place and in the same department. He is untreated, not taking medication and actively drinking. His outburst are fearful and unexpected at work. I am at a wits end and am trying to enforce proper boundaries in the ending of the relationship. I do not have the financial ability to seek therapy for myself because he has put me in a financial uproar. I need an online support group to help me reestablish myself as an individual and reinforce my self worth.

[Learning_curve74]

Hi carmen, sorry to hear you're having issues with your ex, especially because you share a workplace. In any case, I also wanted to say welcome to the community! 

When it comes to boundaries, they are a tool we use for ourselves for our own benefit, not necessarily in order to change somebody else, though it can be a possible side effect. Here is a good introduction that you may want to read if you haven't yet done so: Setting boundaries.

Does he yell or confront you angrily at work? Are there other witnesses to this behavior?

Hang in there, it can be tough to deal with these types of behaviors. 

[OnceConfused]

One way of therapy is being in a support group like this board. You can bounce off your thoughts and we can give you our thoughts, sugarcoated or many time plain truth.

[carmen3498]

Unfortunately we do work closely together and he is a master manipulator. He's very good at making me seem like the crazy one because we work in a male dominated environ. The men act like oh she is an over reactive female, overly sensitive. Blah blah. They have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. He makes me so defeated. It's so hard everyday is a challenge. With the tactics and defense mechanisms he has I'm left feeling like the crazy one.