perfect example of a narcissistic trait

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

This weekend I fell asleep on the couch after watching some exciting college football. I woke up around 3:30 a.m. with a full blown asthma attack. I  haven't had one that bad since I was 7. labored breathing, wheezing, coughing, seeing black from lack of oxygen. my rescue inhaler wasn't working. It was  a medical emergency. I went into by fiancé's room to ask for a ride to the emergency room. She wakes up and then falls back asleep. I tried again. she says take my daughters breathing treatment. then falls back asleep again. I located the breathing treatment, almost blacking out (if I would have blacked out who knows the consequences), that bought me some time until the clinic opened up at around 5 a.m... btw I drove myself there. she was still asleep. the clinic doctor lectured me on  waiting too long and not to do this again (sudden death is real possibility). He gave me an emergency shot of epi. stayed there until my heart rate and bp went down. then came home to where were you? really.? she just doesn't get it. I asked her how she would respond if her daughter had those symptoms. yeah,... .I've about had it. This is really one way here.

[jasonb]

This weekend I fell asleep on the couch after watching some exciting college football. I woke up around 3:30 a.m. with a full blown asthma attack. I  haven't had one that bad since I was 7. labored breathing, wheezing, coughing, seeing black from lack of oxygen. my rescue inhaler wasn't working. It was  a medical emergency. I went into by fiancé's room to ask for a ride to the emergency room. She wakes up and then falls back asleep. I tried again. she says take my daughters breathing treatment. then falls back asleep again. I located the breathing treatment, almost blacking out (if I would have blacked out who knows the consequences), that bought me some time until the clinic opened up at around 5 a.m... btw I drove myself there. she was still asleep. the clinic doctor lectured me on  waiting too long and not to do this again (sudden death is real possibility). He gave me an emergency shot of epi. stayed there until my heart rate and bp went down. then came home to where were you? really.? she just doesn't get it. I asked her how she would respond if her daughter had those symptoms. yeah,... .I've about had it. This is really one way here.

[Moselle]

jasonb,

That's very hard to experience. I'm so sorry you had to go through that alone.

I recognise this behaviour from my own relationship with a BPD/NPD spouse. I was flexible at work and would often stay home to help if she was ever sick. When I got sick however, she would go to gym and visit friends .

I decided I didn't want to grow old with someone like that.

[jasonb]

Mosselle thanks for the reply. I starting to think the same way. btw I was ordered to stay in bed the rest of the day. Guess what she did. invite friends over to hang out.

[JRT]

I was just passing my this thread and read it out of curiosity.

I have not thought of my ex wife in  a long time form a details perspective since I have been divorced for over 10 years from her. Frankly, I have forgotten many of the odd behaviors that she demonstrated during our relationship. One of them was related to what you both wrote above. It always puzzled me how she could simply just go shopping or visit friends when I was incredibly ill and bedridden.

One night, I had an accident where I had cut the side of my finger pretty badly. I ran upstairs to where she was asleep, woke her up, showed her the wound (i had cupped it to stop the bleeding) and asked her if it was bad. She responded 'Oh yeah!' and then insisted that I drive myself to the urgent care clinic to get it stitched since she was busy getting her sleep!

Reminders of stuff like this seems to point to the likely scenario that my ex wife was an NPD.

Thanks for sharing.

[Moselle]

Thanks JRT. Its comforting to know that I'm not the only one. It's not really funny stuff now that I think about it. When we lived abroad, I got very very sick with septicaemia ( bacterial infection, which can be fatal) . I was hallucinating and was blacking out.

My wife actually did not know what the heck to do. I now know that she acts more like a 3 year old than an adult. She eventually phoned a close friend who took one look at me and rushed me hospital. When I arrived in was in  seriously bad shape with imminent kidney failure. A few more hours and it was tickets.

No man. It's dangerous in these relationships

[Ceruleanblue]

Yep, me too. BPDh put me in a bad situation, and I'd even tried to avoid it. I'd been having dangerously high blood pressure, and we both knew it. He'd scheduled us for a motorcycle class, and I told him I wasn't feeling well, to just go without me. He promised me if I'd just come that we'd only stay a couple hours. I went, got to seriously feeling badly, as in sitting on the grass, and he didn't keep his word. He stayed for the entire class of four hours, then also took his test. I ended up in the ER that night, and that was a real eye opener for me. MY health does not matter to him in any way. I don't matter to him in any real way. HE matters to him, and I can't trust him.

It's all him, him, him. Now, I'm making my life about me, me, me. I'll go alone with some things, for peace, as I'm still with him, but I'll never let him jeopardize my health like that again.

I won't put myself in those situations anymore, and he kissed me getting my motorcycle license goodbye too. I don't trust him enough to ride with him. Beside him, or on the back on his bike. No way.