Restraining order - any have experience?

[Naughty Nibbler]

Wondering if anyone has had the experience of obtaining a restraining order against the BPD in their live and what their experience was.  I'm sorry this story is so lengthy.

I posted a few months ago about my UBPD sister and the horrible experiences I've had with her during my parents' hospitalizations, death and trust/estate business.  I'm currently in the third round of a break in contact.  

Thankfully, we concluded escrow on my parent's home 2 weeks ago. The escrow closed on a Friday. Nasty text messages started flying late Thursday afternoon, so I put my sister on ignore at that point. There wasn't any rational reason why I had to interact with her over the weekend - I needed a break.

I kept my sister on ignore for Saturday and Sunday.  She became enraged, because I wouldn't respond to her communication attempts for 2 days. She shows up at my door on Sunday afternoon.  When I went to the door, she pushed it in and was in my face in a rude and threatening manner. Once you have seen the crazed look of someone who wants do get physical with you, you never forget that look. She was extremely enraged and had that look. I was the one who needed to call the police, but she tried to intimidate me, saying she was going to call the police.

We are both on the trust checking account and it takes both of our signatures to authorize a check.  She just had to have her proceeds from the house sale immediately.  I made her go to her car and I wrote 2 checks of equal amounts for both of us and we exchanged signatures.  Then, I went back into my house and she was banging on the door again, yelling about she didn't get all of her money, she was calling the police (police won't do anything about trust business).  We talked previously about the need to hold some money back until we coulde compute the costs and profit from the home sale, figure the trust taxes, and send in the tax forms/tax payment before the home sale funds could be completely distributed. She was apprised of the situation.

WOW, she is crazy.  I was just a minute away from calling the police to have her removed from my property, but she finally drove away.  I've researched getting a restraining order, and I am seriously considering doing that.  I refuse to interact with her any further, unless it happens in a public place, with a witness and I make an audio recording of the interaction.  She refuses to get counseling.  She has her church friends convinced that I'm jealous of her and I'm abusive to her.  I spoke to my niece on the phone and apparently, my sister has done "the angry, in your face move" to her and other immediate family members for many years.

We still have trust issues to resolve and checks to issue, with dual signatures.  My last text to her on that Sunday was that I'm getting a restraining order.  Her last text was that she was getting a lawyer.  I've been laughing to myself about her getting a lawyer, because the only thing a lawyer will do at this point is cost her money.  We are co-trustees and everything left to do takes both our signatures.  At this point, there isn't anything that has been neglected on my part, or anything she has initiated that I have refused to sign/act upon.

Anyway, my sister was playing a little game.  It was apparent that she had decided that she had done enough work to aid the house sale, and just wasn't going to make herself available for much during the last week of escrow.  She had just gone to Palm Springs for a 3-day vacation the previous week, as well as a 4th day out with her friends (to a distant location for lunch). She had decided to put the screws to me during the last week of escrow.  Murphy's Law has a habit of showing up at the last minute, but my sister's priorities was lunching with friends and other things during the last few days - a prescription for disaster.  Some of the issues that last week before escrow were:

*  Water shut off twice by the city (sister held onto some delinquent bills)

*  Electricity was about to be shut off (another delinquent bill)

*  Problem With the Garbage Disposal

*  Garage Door Opener Remotes Wouldn't Work

*  Power to Home Went Out, While Trying to Open Garage Door (Half Open With My Vehicle Inside.  Was the delinquent bill the problem? The request to transfer service at issue?  Or was did a circuit throw a switch)

I could go through item, by item of the issues above and describe something goofy my sister did to make a problem out of it or to blame me, but I'll spare everyone.  The recent round of bad behavior began when she got angry and hung up the phone the week before, when I tried to talk to her about the delinquent water bill and the water being shut off multiple times the week before.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else has had to get a restraining order.  I just can't bare another drama with my sister and frankly want to cut her out of my life completely after the trust issues are concluded.  I feel I have to have written or taped documentation of any interaction with her to preserve the truth.

[sisterofbpd]

Hello,

I'm sorry you're going through this. A few years ago I got a restraining order on my BPDsis. My sister had been delusional for some time and was also refusing to get help. She's alway bees extremely nasty and into conspiracy theories and at the time was making completely ridiculous accusations. What pushed me over the edge was she was telling me that out Mother had us all under Nazi mind control, that both our parents abused her (she was accusing everyone of abuse at this point) and then told me if I don't keep my DDs away from my parents that "I would never see them again, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!" At that I was just like that's it, no one threatens my kids and I got one.

It was not an easy thing to do, both the process and the

Emotional toll on me. I live in NYS and I had to go to the family court office and wait for hours to see someone, then wait some more to see a judge or referee. Then once they approve the temporary restraining order I had to call 911 to have the police serve her papers. This process took and entire day and then she wasn't there for the papers to be served. The next day while I was at work I had to call 911 again, have a cop get the papers from me and he was able to serve them. Then we had to go to court because she had the right to defend herself, then she got it adjourned and we had to go to court again.

I finally got a 6 month RO.  It wasn't anything I'd want to do again unless it was totally necessary. If you feel threatened I would look into it, but it is very time consuming and is a big emotional toll 

[Naughty Nibbler]

sisterofBPD:

Thanks for your response! I really appreciate you sharing your experience.  I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I am sure that any further contact with her has to involve a witness being present and the conversation recorded. I have to let some more time pass before I can bare to be around my sister again.

Now that my parent's have passed, it would have been nice to have a sibling to be close with.  Sadly, I'd be better off with no sibling.

Thanks again,

Naughty