Engulfment: What could I have done and what to do?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hey, while I've moved to posting on the leaving board I thought this was more relevant here.

So it's now been two months of no contact with my ExBPDgf and it's been tough. I've just started feeling like I can move on but I know I'll have to see her this week.

However I never really knew why she broke up with me but a today a mutual friend told me what she had been told and it sounds a lot like engulfment. Apparently she started splitting me black seemingly after we attended a relatives wedding as people had started to comment it would be us next and this made her feel it was getting too serious for her to handle.

While I'm not aiming for it, I wouldn't be against reconciliation with some conditions attached. It's just so hard to understand engulfment. Can anyone try to rationalise it? How should I act around her knowing this? What does this mean in regards to possibly trying again?

[Corgicuddler95]

Hey, while I've moved to posting on the leaving board I thought this was more relevant here.

So it's now been two months of no contact with my ExBPDgf and it's been tough. I've just started feeling like I can move on but I know I'll have to see her this week.

However I never really knew why she broke up with me but a today a mutual friend told me what she had been told and it sounds a lot like engulfment. Apparently she started splitting me black seemingly after we attended a relatives wedding as people had started to comment it would be us next and this made her feel it was getting too serious for her to handle.

While I'm not aiming for it, I wouldn't be against reconciliation with some conditions attached. It's just so hard to understand engulfment. Can anyone try to rationalise it? How should I act around her knowing this? What does this mean in regards to possibly trying again?

[Lou12]

I believe my BPD broke up with me due to engulfment. Well actually I believe it was primarily abandonment sensitivity but he convinced himself it was engulfment to split me black and retain some logic to himself of why we broke up.

I can't answer your question though as every time we have contact again I trigger him within days! So don't do what I do !