I am so proud of my dd21. Her life has been on a winding road while our relationship has improved.
One of the things I
noted with her/us is "less is more."
She cannot live with me that is horrible for us both.
She has to keep busy working a full time job and going to school full time or things go more 'haywire' in her life. It is almost like the hectic schedule satisfies her need for chaos, or at least most of it.
She pays for school herself and when I offer to help with things she becomes offended. SO I don't offer any more, just am always looking for the positive with her, carful never to say anything that could be taken as judgment.
While she lives about 15 minutes away we see each other about once every 2 months. And always after a visit she tries to suck me into some catastrophe via phone/text. I have learned to ignore all those messages and within a week they stop. It is as if she never sent them.
I send a supportive short text about once a week "Hey lady, just thinking of you and hoping all is going well" or something that easy which seems to be all she wants (for now)
She just graduated with a medical assistant certificate and landed an awesome job. (an acceptance to start nursing school in the spring) Now with insurance she has gotten her glasses, gone for a physical, made a dentist appointment and even got a referral for a psych and is back on her meds. She even showed me the filled scrip.
2 years ago I never thought I would see this as she was living on the streets, went NC, dropped out of high school, looked horrible and could not carry on any kind of 'sane' conversation.
I am so grateful for all the support here that has brought me thus far.
There is hope for all!