Escalated to Physical Abuse

[Depression = 72% of members]

I finally know it has to be over. We have been dating for about a year. On many occasions when he would become upset, I was verbally attacked and insulted. Then, it moved to name calling. Finally, during a jealous episode, he pulled my hair, drug me around, and shoved me and put shaving cream all over my head and face. It's been 4 days and I've been really traumatized. I left the relationship and will not go back. I was overlooking his verbal episodes and made excuses because of his BPD. I feel lucky to be alive. He was a " nice" " nurturing" man and one who ultimately became dangerously violent. I wanted everyone here to know this is a real thing. He split from himself and was in total psychosis. I will or go back. Please send prayers. I need them as I'm differencing PTSD symptoms and I'm still in shock.

[Lotus1976]

I finally know it has to be over. We have been dating for about a year. On many occasions when he would become upset, I was verbally attacked and insulted. Then, it moved to name calling. Finally, during a jealous episode, he pulled my hair, drug me around, and shoved me and put shaving cream all over my head and face. It's been 4 days and I've been really traumatized. I left the relationship and will not go back. I was overlooking his verbal episodes and made excuses because of his BPD. I feel lucky to be alive. He was a " nice" " nurturing" man and one who ultimately became dangerously violent. I wanted everyone here to know this is a real thing. He split from himself and was in total psychosis. I will or go back. Please send prayers. I need them as I'm differencing PTSD symptoms and I'm still in shock.

[steelwork]

Please take care, stay safe, and check in when you can.

So glad you're out.

[Turkish]

Lotus,

That is a shocking turn of events. Are you safe now, and have taken steps to stay safe? What support do you have (who else knows about this)?

T

[Lotus1976]

Yes, I am safe and out. I went to see my therapist and I've told my mother and two closest friends. I am still in shock and it feels like I'm out of my body. I wouldn't wish this in anyone. How can someone be so nice and nurturing and loving and then turn around and verbally and psychically attack you? Bpd cannot be a reason or excuse. He could've killed me. He wasn't in his right mind. Very scary!

[abq1980]

Lotus, I am sorry you are going through this.  Unfortunately, the pattern you describe is what abusers do.  I was a victim of domestic violence by my ex wife.  She wasn't that way at first, but eventually her verbal rages became physical. I didn't tell anyone about the physical abuse until after she filed for divorce.  I was too ashamed and embarassed that I prosecuted people daily for domestic violence, but I was too afraid to confront my own wife about her issues.  I feel into the trap of believing her that she would get help and get better.  If I would have called police, she would have divorced me on the spot.  It also would have meant jeopardizing her license to practice medicine.  I did not want either one to happen and I foolishly believed she would change.

I have just recently found a therapist who has extensive knowledge of domestic violence, and she has even taught classes on the subject.  I am hoping that I will gain the insight to make sure that I don't fall into the same trap again. 

Lotus, have you contacted police about the incident?  It's not too late to do so.  It may be the best thing for him to have charges filed.  Maybe he will finally try to modify his behavior.