This needs to be included in Topic Lessons

[SoSoSoTired]

"People can cut to feel something because they are so psychologically NUMB.  *OR* they can cut because there is such a bottleneck of so much psychological pain that it RELEASES some of that pain."

BPDs also self harm just to get attention.

-Some make bruises on themselves to try to prove their "I was abused" lies are true.  Being a victim brings the BPD extra attention.

-Others self injure and take photos of their injuries.  They send the photos to people attempting to manipulate them into feeling sorry for them or texting them more frequently.

-Some BPDs cause themselves to become physically ill (victim of illness) to manipulate family and medical professionals into giving them attention.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Suzn]

Hello Sososotired

Welcome to bpdfamily.com. It sounds like you and your daughter have been through a lot. I'm sorry you're struggling with all of this. 

I read in a different thread that your daughter is adopted. Sometimes adopted children have some special emotional needs. When was she adopted? How old was she? Is she diagnosed/in therapy? Are there other children in your family?

It sounds like your daughter is self harming, what a scary situation. How are you coping with everything you've been up against? Are you working with a therapist to help you through?

[SoSoSoTired]

Hello Sososotired

Welcome to bpdfamily.com. It sounds like you and your daughter have been through a lot. I'm sorry you're struggling with all of this. 

I read in a different thread that your daughter is adopted. Sometimes adopted children have some special emotional needs. When was she adopted? How old was she? Is she diagnosed/in therapy? Are there other children in your family?

It sounds like your daughter is self harming, what a scary situation. How are you coping with everything you've been up against? Are you working with a therapist to help you through?

Thank you for your concern. She was adopted as a toddler into a family with two older children.  My other family members are mentally healthy.  Her siblings are in college and doing well.

She was diagnosed as BPD by a competent psychiatrist. As a child, she was not diagnosed to be RAD.  We underwent attachment therapy when she was adopted. I believe she is attached to me, dh, and her other family members.

For the last 2 years she saw a personal therapist, but her recent move ended this relationship. She refuses to seek therapy at this time after she was fired by her new therapist after only 2 sessions with her.

[Suzn]

Her recent move? Moving is one of the top 5 most stressful events. Stress can be a trigger for maladaptive coping, especially with a person with BPD.

Her therapist fired her? Were you in contact with this therapist?

[SoSoSoTired]

Her recent move? Moving is one of the top 5 most stressful events. Stress can be a trigger for maladaptive coping, especially with a person with BPD.

Her therapist fired her? Were you in contact with this therapist?

She, sadly, began to exhibit "maladaptive coping" (aka outrageous amoral behavior) since she was 13.  This began 5 years before her move to her new city.  

Yes, her therapist fired her. Because my insurance was paying for the sessions and I was paying the cash copayment, her therapist called me after my daughter's third session.  She told me that she could not help my daughter.  She said my daughter was just "too risky".   She gave my daughter a photocopied list of other local therapists' names.