How did you explain the split to your children?

[Isa_lala]

I am strongly considering breaking up with my bf. I am wondering how I will explain my decision to my 8-year old boy (my bf is not his dad)

Any suggestion?

[Turkish]

Can you give us some background, like how long have you been together, how his r/s is with your bf, and what is your son aware of at this moment? Context is necessary (for him) as well as a conversation that is age-appropriate.

[Isa_lala]

Hello and thank you for the reply.

I adopted my son by myself and i met my BF when my son was 4 and a half years old (so 3 and a half years ago)

My son is with us full time and my BF 9-year old boy is with us 1 week of 2

We moved in together 2 months ago (very bad decision) and now, I strongly consider breaking up

My son is aware that my BF is always upset and he doesn't like it. He is sometimes afraid of my BF

My son is very attached to my BF's son but not a lot to my BF

Hope it will help to get some tips here

[sweetheart]

Hello,

If you do decide to break up I really like this link, it also has it's own link to a page written specially for kids, for them to read, answering their questions in an age appropriate way, www.parents.familieschange.ca/telling-the-children/explaining-why-parents-separate-or-divorce

I am really sorry that your son sometimes feels scared of your bf, that must be very hard for you. It is good that he has been able to tell you how he feels.

I remember from another post that you have had to intervene in your bf's treatment of his own son, all of this makes considering a break up very understandable.

How difficult will it be in practical terms for you to break up ?

[Isa_lala]

Yes, I have to break up because I cannot stand anymore the reactions from my BF and the ambiance we have been living in for the last 2 months is not what I want for my son either.

As we live at the same place with my BF, I decided to look for a place where to live temporary with my son because I don’t want to break up when living at the same place. My BF can be very aggressive verbally, so we never know if he wouldn’t be aggressive physically. I cannot take any chance. It will be very difficult for everyone but I believe that I am at the point I need to make decisions for my good and my son’s

I am very sad for my BF’s son as I cannot do anything for him and he will be very affected by that. I feel terrible doing it, but I don’t want to procrastinate any more….