Self harm

[JustAMum]

My 17yr old d has cut in the past to the extreme where she has required many stitches. Her arms and upper thighs are covered in scars. I have established boundaries and have said that cutting or attempts of suicide are not acceptable and if she goes back to this type of behaviour she can no longer live with me. She hasn't self harmed for over 12 months but yesterday she hinted that she might do it again. I find it very distressing when she hurts herself. To the point where I can't cope myself. I'm not leaving her alone for long periods of time. She has just started taking a mood stabiliser. She sees her psych later this month. I hate the ongoing stress that this brings. I Always seem to be waiting for the next crisis. I'm a sole parent of 2. I have another daughter who is 22. I work full time. I have very little support and mainly deal with my d alone. She is in her final year at school and I know the added stress is going to make her even more impulsive and unstable. I'm grateful for any support.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi JustaMum

I hope you are ok today? I'd suggest you keep to your values and limits you set your daughter, 12 month without cutting is a great milestone.

I'm a sole parent too, one daughter. I have 3 women, a sister, my best friend and daughter's best friend who I can speak openly to. We are not quite on the same page yet, but they all understand, are supportive and learning, just like me.  Can you reach out to anyone, this can be such an isolating experience if we let it be.

Yes, I agree exams are stressful for all, my DD collapsed 6 months before the end of her degree, the University was great, very empathetic, they helped her (and me) through to graduation, extended timelines and accepted her dissertation without a panel interview. That said, what is most important to me is for DD to be able to regulate her emotions and to be able to support herself and live happily.

Have you spoken with the school? Our children are gifted and able, and to be provided the space to succeed along with their peers.

I have recently started to deep breath, it's really helpful! Makes me feel alive. WDx

[JustAMum]

I want the same for my d. I just want her to be happy. To be able to work and to be independent. She battles with depression so I also want her to be safe. The thought of her hurting herself or trying to suicide fills me with dread. We've already had 1 attempt which seriously traumatised me. I just couldn't cope. I think I will speak to her school to see what extra support they can give her.