Acceptance ?

[Bestill]

It's been quite a while since I have been here. My adult son suffers from anxiety/depression. He lost his 11-year job in October. He has been drawing unemployment and looking for work since.  He would come over most days for awhile and use my computer.  I got use to having contact with him.  He accepted a full-time job and started Monday. He came by Monday after work, but since I have sent texts a couple of times and he hasn't responded.  My fear is that he has already quit or is not showing up.  I have trouble accepting that he may never do better, that he won't keep a job, and how will he survive.  I can't support him. Are job issues something that goes along with this diagnosis?  He does better when he walks and meditates and uses some of the tools he has been taught, but I don't think he does these consistently.  What should I do - leave him alone?  Let him find his way?  Because of some things that happened earlier in our family, I feel responsible. I have trouble accepting there is nothing I can do. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hello Bestill

The fact your son held a job for eleven years is very positive, as is his search for work.  I'm sorry he lost his long term job. Change is difficult for many people, so if this last position did not work out for him, I'd say it's ok, accept it and take it day by day. To be motivated to look for a job is great.

I had also wondered myself if there are people specialising in supporting BPD in gaining work, career mentoring. Not a therapist - a careers coach.

It sounds like he knows what is good for him, walking, meditating - if he is not practising his skills enough is there a refresher course he could attend?

WDx