Searching for answers

[rivermanmk]

I have been in a short term relationship dealing with the fears of my counterpart and experiencing the polar extreme

of being the "best she's ever had"  from one day to not feeling a connection the next...   close communication and connection to distancing and ignoring... .contradictory statements and odd behaviours.    There is no middle ground - it's either heaven or doom and gloom... .

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tryingsome]

Well I think pwBPD are short-timers.

They can't understand the implications of their actions.

They can't understand a future.

So yes, you are the best she's ever had. That is true in that slice of life.

That slice of life is always the moment.

Yes, one day you will be the best. One day you will be the worst.

Make sure you know who you are and believe it.

Make sure you are with people who reinforce what you believe about yourself.

You need a strong support system.

If you don't, eventually her inconsistent words will slowly make you mistrust yourself.

Make sure you have support.

Here is a fact, she was attracted to you the most the day you two met.

Strive to be the person she knew when you first met. (I'm not saying be static though).

With a good support network, you can remain a person with a strong self.

This is what she is most attracted to.

[Jessica84]

This is part of their black and white thinking. You can read more about it here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=62033.0

This may also explain the push/pull:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=99725.0

[rivermanmk]

Thanks for the responses/input.   I am now in the phase of being left alone with no communication... .She feels accused, repulsed by having to answer to my questions of her episodes of fear and detachment, that I am accusing her of fears being the cause of backing up and no longer feeling a connection.  Just the day before I was everything to her and a source of "magical joy" and honoured to loved and be in my company... .   It's so disjointed.