taxes

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Have any of you dealt with an ex claiming a dependent child illegally?  My BPD exH has claimed our daughter both for 2013 and 2015 taxes.  This forces me to paper file in order to claim her as it is my legal right (I have primary physical custody and pay 100% of her child care and health care and we never agreed to any other arrangement with taxes).  He feels entitled because he is her father and has 39% custody (which somehow he calculates as 48% ).  Has anyone had to deal with this and was there ever any consequence to the party who did the illegal filing?

Thank you!

[nowheretogo]

Have any of you dealt with an ex claiming a dependent child illegally?  My BPD exH has claimed our daughter both for 2013 and 2015 taxes.  This forces me to paper file in order to claim her as it is my legal right (I have primary physical custody and pay 100% of her child care and health care and we never agreed to any other arrangement with taxes).  He feels entitled because he is her father and has 39% custody (which somehow he calculates as 48% ).  Has anyone had to deal with this and was there ever any consequence to the party who did the illegal filing?

Thank you!

[mywifecrazy]

My X wanted claim one of our sons even though I have primary custody. She gave up custody in the divorce and only wanted them every other weekend.  She doesn't do anything to help raise our boys but wanted to cash in with a tax refund because as she put it... ."It would help HER"    No mention of helping the kids.  And I'm sure 0% of that tax refund would go to them.  I told her NO, that he has no legal or moral grounds to be using them for a tax refund.  To her credit she asked, unlike your X Husband.

What happened when your X Husband claimed the kids in 2013 & 2015?  My lawyer told me that if you file your taxes and the kids were already claimed that you need only provide the custody agreement and you should be OK.  Did you do that?  Did he get audited?

The funny part about my X asking to claim the kids for a refund is that she NEVER volunteers to help out with anything expenses for the kids.

Good Luck!

MWC... .

[ForeverDad]

If you have majority physical time then to claim any of the children technically he should have you sign IRS form 8332 granting him permission to do so.  Obviously you're not going to do that.   The first to file electronically blocks the other from filing electronically if both are claiming one or more of the children.  So I guess that's what you've had to do the past couple years, paper filing with letter of explanation?  (In future years can you file sooner?)  I don't know whether there are any consequences for him claiming the children as his dependents year after year.  Maybe a tax lawyer would know?

[nowheretogo]

Well, actually, he did ask.  This time.  When he claimed her for 2013 taxes, he simply sent me an email notifying me that he had claimed her.  I had my attorney send him a letter asking him to amend, which he never did. I paper filed, also claiming her. I sent a copy of the custody order with my return, but apparently that doesn't matter.  About a year later, I got a letter from the IRS notifying me that someone else had also claimed her (my daughter).  The letter asks you to amend your return if you were in the wrong, which I wasn't.  I spoke to someone at the IRS who said if you were legally correct to claim her, then do nothing.  We will let you know if we ever need anything from you.  I don't know if he got the same letter or not, but I think the person at the IRS told me that only the second person to claim gets the letter, and that's usually the innocent person as the one doing it illegally is in a rush to get it done first.  Last year, when filing for 2014, he asked me about claiming her again and saying he thinks we should alternate years.  I basically told him no, and he didn't claim her last year (because it was "my year".  Obviously there was no consequence to claiming her for 2013, because he went and did it again this year for 2015.  He did ask me this time, in an email, and I told him it is not up for discussion.  He does have her 39% of the time, but offers no financial support because he feels that I *should* pay all of it as I make a lot more money than he does.  He doesn't think it's fair that he shouldn't get the tax advantage of being able to claim her every other year, even though she is essentially no financial burden to him at all.  So anyway, yes, he claimed her again, even though I told him no and he did it illegally before.

Please, karma, work someday!

[nowheretogo]

ForeverDad,

Hi!  Good to hear from you, as always.  I am aware of that legal form, which of course I am not going to sign.  He has claimed in the past that "we had an agreement" which we never had either.  You are correct about the paper filing, and you don't need to include any kind of documentation according to the CPAs and IRS.  They will ask you for anything they need later if they investigate.   I can only hope they catch up with him someday. 

[david]

The IRS uses overnights to figure out who can deduct the kids. As long as you have proof I wouldn't be concerned. However, it may take a long time for it to get resolved.

IF ex continues there may be consequences for him depending on how he did his return.

[ForeverDad]

So he's expecting you to capitulate under pressure or out of exhaustion.  Ha!  Not any more!   You'll have to be the Brick Wall to counter his formerly Irresistible Force.

I know a certain person who shall remain anonymous who had sole custody, equal time and the order granted him child deductions every year.  Unfortunately, his online tax program wouldn't let him file electronically when he entered "6 months".  Evidently the code expected a majority value and refused to allow child deductions with equal time unless paperwork included.  So... .somehow "7 months" appeared mysteriously and it worked.

[nowheretogo]

Yeah, it's the government... .it will likely take forever if ever.  It's somewhat discouraging that no one can share a story of someone who did this with any consequence.  And then even if they do figure it out, he will probably just ignore/refuse their attempts to communicate with him and collect any money.  It's an unfortunate setup that will probably again allow him to get away with doing whatever he wants to do.

[livednlearned]

Hi nowheretogo,

My ex did this four years in a row. I simply claimed my son anyway, and sent in a copy of our custody order highlighting the arrangement. It was a hassle because it precluded e-filing.

No repercussions for my ex, although he had his taxes adjusted each year, which was probably a bummer, and I always got my returns.

[nowheretogo]

Hi livednlearned!

Thank you for sharing your experience.  I guess this is what he will be doing every other year.  When you say he had his taxes adjusted, what does that mean?  Or at least what did it mean for him if you know?

And good to hear from you again!

[livednlearned]

Nice to see you too    How are you doing?

By taxes adjusted, I mean that he would not be able to claim any deductions he might've tried to claim. So he probably ended up owing more taxes than he thought he owed, or would receive a smaller return than he might've expected.

He must have done something else too, because I somehow got sucked up into the government hacking scandal and I'm not a government employee. I got a notice that my information had been exposed, and that if I wasn't a government employee, it could be due to someone else requesting an investigation into my background or tax audit.

[ugghh]

I kept a spreadsheet listing every day of  the year along with a column for each of my kids. I simply put a 1 in every cell where they spent the overnight with me and totaled it at the end of the year.

The IRS does not care what the decree says, they only care about how many nights the child spent at your residence.  If its 183 or more nights at your house, you are the majority custody parent for tax purposes.  For your ex to have a valid claim with less than 183 nights it would require the form 8332.

File on paper and don't worry about it, they will catch up to him eventually.  If you attach a specific document showing the overnight count for  you, that will bolster your argument.

[scraps66]

Yes and no consequences because I did not pursue.  What happened to me, usually I would file first, but a couple years ex claimed both children, and all of the childcare before I could get my taxes filed.  The following year I claimed both to catch up, but also went to court to have it stipulated who got who - we have two boys and 50/50, it's pretty straight forward.  Amazing how no one really seemed to bat an eyelash when I explained why we needed this.

This can also prevent you from filing.  If he claims both and is only supposed to claim one, you won't be able to file your taxes and it'll bounce back as a case of identity theft. 

The only sure thing my L and the court could come up with was to file first every year.