uBPD sister

[Our abuse recovery guide]

Hello everyone,

New here so just saying hi and wanting to explain my situation. My sister has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for the past few years. I've always felt she didn't truly have depression because of the way she has always been.

Lately there has been multiple explosive rages and she is constantly picking on my dad criticising him to the point where I'm worried he's becoming depressed. When I read about BPD, everything fit with her and I'm almost certain she has it.

We've tried to be understanding and help her but she has always refused counselling, saying if we really cared then we would be the ones who helped her which is ridiculous. I'm sick of her selfishness and attitude and last week she physically threatened members of my family with a knife and now I'm beyond wanting to help her but rather, I want to help the rest of my family escape her toxic-ness.

Has anyone been in a similar situation/can give some advice?

Thanks

[Star_24]

Hello everyone,

New here so just saying hi and wanting to explain my situation. My sister has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for the past few years. I've always felt she didn't truly have depression because of the way she has always been.

Lately there has been multiple explosive rages and she is constantly picking on my dad criticising him to the point where I'm worried he's becoming depressed. When I read about BPD, everything fit with her and I'm almost certain she has it.

We've tried to be understanding and help her but she has always refused counselling, saying if we really cared then we would be the ones who helped her which is ridiculous. I'm sick of her selfishness and attitude and last week she physically threatened members of my family with a knife and now I'm beyond wanting to help her but rather, I want to help the rest of my family escape her toxic-ness.

Has anyone been in a similar situation/can give some advice?

Thanks

[Woolspinner2000]

Welcome Star 24!

I'm glad you have found us. We are a big family, offering understanding ears for situations like yours.

It sounds like you've been doing some homework and reading up on BPD. You mention that you see more than depression in your sister. Isn't it interesting how we instinctively know that it is more than just depression?

I'm very sorry for the drama she is and has been bringing to your family. Are you living in the same household with her? Can you tell me a bit more about how old she is, and what types of troubles she complains that no one will help her with?

It is very concerning to me that you mention her threats with a knife. Do you feel that there is indeed danger for your family from her? Or will she harm herself?

Please keep us informed!


Wools

[Kwamina]

Hi Star_24

Thanks for posting this introduction and I would like to join Wools in welcoming you to our online community

I too find your sister threatening family-members with a knife quite concerning. What led up to her pulling a knife? Has she ever done something like that before?

Dealing with explosive rages isn't easy and your sister is unfortunately also threatening physical violence. Do you feel physically safe around her?

We have some information here that can help in your safety planning: Safety First

Take care

[HappyChappy]

Star_24,

So sorry you’re having to deal with that behaviour, a knife is going too far, and refusing counselling must be very frustrating. But unfortunately very A typical of BPD behaviour.

I’d say it’s good you got the realisation that you/we can’t change a BPD, that’s for them to do. And I think you’re absolutely correct to think about protecting yourself  and your immediate family’s against the toxic effects. Had any thoughts on how you’ll do that ?  

Oh welcome to the board, as well.