so many differences

[bus boy]

I've done my share of posting and got great advice that gave me the strength to push on in those dark days of emptiness and despair. I have also read a lot of posts that help  ut they often raise more questions. As I said before I feel my ex wife is more npd than BPD or some kind of a dark entity lives in her. I really can relate more to npd. We had a parental assessment and the results strongly pointed to her having some kind of a disorder the forensic psychologist  who did the assessment said in her report that my ex denied any mental and emotional abuse, the test results strongly suggest that she would take this abusive behavior to any future relationships. It's confusing bc my ex wasn't a flirt around men, in fact, the total opposite. Very low key, never had many boyfriends. I would never of had any thought of her cheating on me. She was a very sexual woman and wasted no time in having sex, second date. And she was quiet clear that she wanted sex every day. It was without a doubt an abusive r/s, when she sunk her teeth into something she didn't let go and would ask you the same question 6 different ways, stump you up and than accuse you of being a lier, she was never wrong, never said anything nice. I feel I was recycled often times, I wouldn't hear from her for days or weeks and all of a sudden get a call or a text. Never anything like I miss you, like I said she never said one kind word to me, I don't mean in the last few years, I mean never in every sense of the word, never. We would be together doing things and out of the blue stop talking to me. It would drive me crazy. She didn't lie to me, she never intended to have any other kind of a r/s with me other than sexual,  after she left. No matter how often I tried to get her to co e to counselling she would dig in and get very angry and bring up all my defects of character and some I didn't have. She was pretty clear when she said she will start a r/s when the right person comes along. After she left I poured 8 1/2 years of my life into her, was often treated like a dog was alienated out of s9 life unless she was able to control the access. So a year ago she starts seeing another man and bang pow he's living in her house. He's a hard working ambitious man like I was, she seems to know how to get good men.