letting go

[nona]

UBPDD13 turne me into police false accusations.

and runs to UBPDDad

2 years ago BPDdad set me up with lies to CPS and almost lost joint custody.

I hired a forensic psyc. had the eval.

nothing came out against me, and psych. recommended joint custody continue.

My PTSD has healed to a point I am no longer afraid of them, so I am starting to set boundaries.

I set a simple boundary yesterday, empty the dishwasher before school, her ONLY chore/expectation.

This resulted in her crying wolf, lying to dad calling the police claims I grabbed her and threw her against the wall

so I will have cps in my house again

lawyer says I now have a juvenile delinquent lying to the cops against me, its time to protect myself.

BPD father has dd convinced she makes all her own decisions. he is a public figure, and controls the system.

everyone is afraid of him, cops, lawyers, CPS social workers, etc. etc.

I no longer feel safe with my child in my home. with her and her father aligned against me.

2 months ago dd13 came and asked me... ."is dad a psychopath"?

why do you ask?

because last week dad did all the same behaviors to me I saw about psychopaths on tv.

so I told her the truth.

UBPDDAD has managed to get her counselors I am not allowed any contact with?

covering up and controlling everything in the system.

I was strong against parental alienation for 5 years.

I was so strong for 5 years.

I now feel broken. not strong.

ready to give my dear daughter to a out of control UBPD. for my own protection.

when cps comes, I plan to say I cannot let her into my home,without family counseling.

he and her have managed to keep the truth hidden by keeping me out.

All i can do is cry today because it hurts so much. I don't feel strong anymore, I feel broken.

maybe I should have felt this way all along, the hurt, but I was too shut down in fear.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Oh nona,

I'm so sorry that your family is in this state of chaos. 

It seems like you have a good attorney to advise you.  What does he recommend you do to protect yourself from these kinds of allegations? 

Could your attorney arrange a mediator so that you and your ex can agree to something beneficial for your child?  Perhaps giving you access to your d's counselors for joint sessions or perhaps looking into a Therapeutic Boarding School for your daughter?

Hang in there, we are here to support you as you work through this recent crisis.



lbjnltx

[nona]

tell me about therapeutic boarding school

[lbjnltx]

Therapeutic Boarding Schools (TBS) is a long term residential program where students reside, attend school (on campus, online, off campus) and receive therapy individually and in group settings.  TBS and RTC (Residential Treatment Center) are often terms used interchangeably.

Some TBS/RTC will not take students without heavy parental involvement (like the one my daughter attended).  Sometimes insurance will cover all or part of a TBS/RTC, sometimes parents get their school district to cover the educational portion of a stay and insurance/parents cover the rest.  There are many variables and possibilities.

Ultimately the goal would be to help the child and get the parents on the same page as far as knowledge, skills, and support.  I have seen some families only have one parent involved, both is best though not always possible.

Finances are usually the most troubling aspect of placement.  We did self pay ($7200 a month for 10 months) which allowed us to choose the place and length of stay, self pay is somewhat limitless though not an option for most families.  I know we are blessed. 

lbjnltx