16 year old teenage daughter

[abk123]

Good morning. I have not logged onto this website in over a year. I have a 16 year old daughter. It was during her second hospitalization in 2009 that a psychiatrist finally said she exhibited traits of BPD. However, no one wants to have your child labeled with such a condition. And over the last few years, as she has gotten older, she had seemed to outgrow some of her traits. But in the back of my head, I have always feared that she was just refining her skills of deception and manipulativeness.

This latest nightmare began two weeks ago, when she decided to runaway. She was gone for one week, before we got lucky and "caught" her. We immediately put her into a drug & alcohol rehab facility, as the police would not do anything, even though she had stolen medications and marijuana. As we dig deeper into her activities leading up to her running away, the reckless and dangerousness of her actions just gets worse and worse. It's a parents nightmare to uncover such horrifying things about your child. In addition to drug abuse and selling, there is an extensive sexual history and inappropriate relationships. The reason I am writing today is to reach out to parents and ask for any recommendations for a therapeudic school or RTC facility. From what we have learned so far, our daughter has forced our hand, and we have no choice but to remove her from our household. Her actions prove she is a danger to herself and possibly others. And if she were to run away again, the outcome could be considerably worse.

Thank you for your help. Heartbroken parent.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello abk,

I'm so sorry that your d16 is on the hard and fast road to self destruction, it is so heartbreaking to watch and feel powerless to turn a corner towards a healthier path.  

My daughter attended Falcon Ridge Ranch in Virgin Utah.  I can only recommend what I have had success doing.  She was there 10 months.  She was enrolled there at age 13.  She is 19 now and doing well.

Are there any obstacles for choosing the RtC you want your d to go to?  Insurance coverage limits?

lbjnltx

[landslide]

I don't have any specific facility recommendations but want to affirm that RTC is the right choice.  I also have a 16 year old who has had similar behaviors and traits.  She just went to an RTC last week after much ado with insurance and other barriers.  We had no choice in facilities because of coverage issues, but it seems like a reasonable fit.  It is up to my daughter if she ultimately works on making lasting changes, but it is wonderful to know she is safe, in a structured environment and surrounded by support to work on her core issues.  I wish you all the best.

[abk123]

we do have good insurance, but are still exploring all options. thank y'all for the posts.

[sad_soul]

If you are looking for a short term RTC 2-3 months, I'm not sure where you are in the country but there is an AMAZING program in Encino California called Polaris Teen Center.  They do accept kids from around the country as well.  My daughter is also 16 and she went there but unfortunately she wasn't able to take advantage of their program because she just needed a higher level of care at the time.  But I think they were wonderful.  It's a beautiful facility, with a great treatment team, great recreational activities for the kids and they have integrated clinical with an outside psychiatrist that the kids meet weekly.  They do GREAT family work, I feel like our best breakthroughs as a family were at that facility.  Unfortunately right when we were starting to see progress with our family sessions, my daughter attacked another resident and was removed from the program... .but I think had we been able to continue longer, we might have seen some great results. My daughter is currently in long term RTC and I'm still struggling to know if this is the right place/choice - she was placed through the school board so I didn't have as much choice in picking the facility. Also Polaris is a dual-diagnosis facility and they address drug addiction, many of the kids that were there with my daughter had drug addition issues. Best of luck with your searches, I know the struggle of finding the right place is soo hard, confusing, time consuming, draining, frustrating and just awful.  It's like every star in the sky must align for us to find the right treatment for our children but keep up the good fight abk123!