Leaving tomorrow for work. Away for two weeks. What should I expect now

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Tomorrow I am leaving. He does not seem affected at all. Please tell me what should I expect-or what am I supposed to do in order to make him feel safe. Thanks a lot and sorry for my mistakes... I am Italian and English is not my mother tongue

[UnforgivenII]

Tomorrow I am leaving. He does not seem affected at all. Please tell me what should I expect-or what am I supposed to do in order to make him feel safe. Thanks a lot and sorry for my mistakes... I am Italian and English is not my mother tongue

[formflier]

You are not to do anything to "make" him feel a certain way.  I do get where you are coming from.

You should make emotionally healthy efforts to reach out and connect with him... that is your choice and your good "input" to the relationship.

He gets to manage his feelings.

You can be there for him in an empathetic way.  Once you have decided on what you can "give" to the relationship, do that and if he demands more... let him figure out how to solve his needs.

As far as what to expect.  Totally a crapshoot.  It's good that he doesn't seem affected... .  Enjoy the trip... .I hope it is productive.

FF

[SamwizeGamgee]

My wife usually increases her psychotic behavior before I am due to leave on week-long work trips.  Usually it's just an amplified reaction to everything, things getting blown out of proportion, increased neediness.  I stay calm, put my return date on the calendar, send her a copy of my itinerary, make sure there's stuff like grocery money in the household bank account, gas in the tank.  Fairly normal things. 
As was pointed out, it's up to your partner to manager his feelings. 
I gained a great deal when I learned to manage just myself, and let my wife's problems roll off my back, so to speak. 
They teach the same thing if your dog gets anxious before you leave.  Just go through the normal calm things you should be doing anyway, don't incite anxiety by making a big deal of anything.
Buona fortuna!

[Silveron]

Honestly what you are experiencing in the short time you have been with him, IMO you should leave the relationship.  If you think what you are going through is bad, wait until you marry him and spend years with him.  It does get worse, much worse.  I've been married almost 13 years to my BPD wife and the emotional, verbal, financial and physical abuse is awful to live with.

They think black and white.  My wife has told me when we argue, she does not feel love for me.  She believes love is conditional.  When she is upset and tells me she hates me, I truly believe it.  She has threatened my life a couple of times over the years.  Trust me when I say your bf will not 'change' by next month.  BPD is not curable.  There is no remedy for it.  They can go to DBT therapy but it's something that takes a commitment and long time to start getting through the layers, however even that does not fix them.

Continuing this relationship with him will only bring you hurt.  I urge you to spend your life finding someone who will appreciate you, not trying to fix him.  You will become hurt, frustrated, depressed and possibility suicidal.  BPD is not something to mess around with.  What you should be asking yourself is, why are you falling for a guy like this?  

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Unforgiven, What you should expect, in my view, is drama.  Leaving tends to trigger their fear of abandonment, as Samwize notes.  How long will you be away?  It is a great opportunity, while you are traveling, to shift the focus back to yourself and what it is you would like to see happen.  As Silveron points out, the challenges tend to get bigger as time goes on in a BPD r/s.  In other words, there is no let up.  I thought I would reach a plateau of relative stability in my marriage to a pwBPD, but I never got there.

LuckyJim