Thinking and hurting

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello everyone

I'm fuming about my son's mother, her ignoring him, though probably best for everyone it still begs the question, does his mother love him or not?

She may not have the capacity to love anyone, most or least of all herself.

Oh boy did I tangle with someone in serious trouble.

Having a child with someone so sick and expecting a good turnout or at least a reprieve.

From what I've learned about pwBPD I have to empathize with them, let go of anger and resentment and look at the big picture. A good friend told me just minutes ago, he doubts my exgf has the slightest idea what real love is.

I have to agree, because in the 4 years we were together, I waited and expected to see her love and yet I only seen glimpses of warmth. Somethings very, very wrong about this girl, something disturbing beyond my imagination.

I will never understand a mother who can steal a child's money and then just ignore their child.

[JerryRG]

Hello everyone

I'm fuming about my son's mother, her ignoring him, though probably best for everyone it still begs the question, does his mother love him or not?

She may not have the capacity to love anyone, most or least of all herself.

Oh boy did I tangle with someone in serious trouble.

Having a child with someone so sick and expecting a good turnout or at least a reprieve.

From what I've learned about pwBPD I have to empathize with them, let go of anger and resentment and look at the big picture. A good friend told me just minutes ago, he doubts my exgf has the slightest idea what real love is.

I have to agree, because in the 4 years we were together, I waited and expected to see her love and yet I only seen glimpses of warmth. Somethings very, very wrong about this girl, something disturbing beyond my imagination.

I will never understand a mother who can steal a child's money and then just ignore their child.

[married21years]

hi bud

i know i am going through the same

at least my child is 19 now and i can explain things.

have you considered full custody.

you need a support network around your family, what is your relationship like with both families

here for you 

[Lilyroze]

have you considered full custody.

This. Jerry   .

You just might have to do this. Sorry, you might have no choice. I and many have  been hinting to you this. She just might need a little more help right now then she is getting.

Her latest to you of needing a Psychiatrist, might be an answer to a prayer. I truly hope she gets the help she needs, can be a good mom and co parent with you. Right now she is not there. Given time and if she is really willing to work on it and get help, then maybe she can be.

You are doing a majority of it, and that is OK your son is so blessed as you are. She just is very ill Jerry. You need to face it, as I know you are. Keep me updated, thanks for being there when I needed kindness. I wish you well.

You can get through this. Stay heart strong and be blessed.

[Turkish]

Jerry,

I've been where you are at.  The kids' mom moved out 2.5 years ago.  In some ways  I'm still where I was at then: frustrated and angry.  I keep remembering what my T said over 2 years ago: "I sense that a lot of your anger stems from expecting her to be who she is not. "

My ex is higher functioning than yours,  yet two nights ago,  I had D4 pray. She prayed that she and S6 would get ready on time both in the morning and also for need so Mommy wouldn't be angry.  I know exactly what they are talking about,  which their mom always euphemistically termed "being irritated." Most here know what it means,  inappropriate anger.  My ex revealed in our parenting class list week that they had a bad night with our son acting out.  She also told me that he had asked,  the previous week,  "when am I going back to Daddy?"

-Like yours,  my ex volunteers more information than I our you would no?  Though it's maddening and frustrating,  take it.  :)ocument it if you need to.  We can neither control who they are nor change them.  The best we can do is be the stake,  wise and loving parent to our kids.  Getting ahead of this while they are still young will help us deal with things in a wise manner when they get older.