The memories

[Imnotalone]

My first post have been lurking for the past couple of days!
I often find my self wondering what of the memories we made together?
How does one with BPD process their own "triggers"
I guess they don't really because of their condition but still there has to be something that makes them remember us no?


In my situation I was the first real relationship she had, first "love".
So many different things happened in our relationship and she was a very spiteful / weak person. Her own words.

I'll go into greater detail in another post but for now my question is what happened to all of the memories I made with this person. She has since ghosted me and deleted everything of "our" existence. She's moved to a different state and more than likely has replaced me.



*to add*
We shared very special memories happy and morbidly sad ones.
We traveled the world together.
My family embraced her as their own because she came from a broken one.
She lived in our home for the last year.
Practically experienced every day together and then it's poof I don't exist.

Hell even my 6th grade girlfriend talks to me on a semi monthly basis.

[fromheeltoheal]

Hi Imnotalone-

And

I'm sorry you're going through that, it is very painful and confusing, and unfortunately not unique around here, but you will go through it.  And you're right, you're not alone.

To answer your question, borderlines feel emotions intensely and think in black and white instead of shades of gray, so to deal with the end of a relationship, which a borderline interprets as the loss of an attachment, you may need to be all bad, when you were all good, and a borderline will use psychological tools like compartmentalization and projection to make you not exist at all or make everything your fault, in order to not feel the feelings of abandonment and likely shame.  Standard borderline there, and we all do that kind of thing to some extent, with borderlines it's just more intense.

So how are you doing emotionally as you begin your detachment?

[Imnotalone]

Thanks for responding!
I'm doing alright. I was the one that broke it off, she next day moved to California (where we both were moving together) I didn't say anything to her for a couple of days until I saw that she moved I simply said congrats and be careful LA isn't for the faint of heart.
She ignored me and hated me until a few days later she flew back to Texas and showed up emailing me (she was blocked every way possible or so I thought)

She was outside begging for me to speak to her in my head I thought if I don't go and speak to her I would be no better off than her. We were both heartbroken our relationship was finally coming to an official end.
So I did, she showed signs of humanity She begged we worked it out and I simply said we need time, things got intimate of course which is what opened up the wounds even more. Following day she was back to her insecure social media inflated self, I called her out on it and it was the worst fight I have ever been in.

She disappeared. I'm shattered doing everything to try and speak to her.

Then I discovered whenever we had a major fight and would temporarily break up 1-2 day thing. She cheated on me twice.


It all clicked after that. This was all a sick individual not even capable of love.
Just someone full of scorn fake-self love and Spite.


Sorry for the novel but once I discovered the lies and put the pieces together I have made a lot of progress. I'm in between stages 3-4 even glimmers of 5.
I just don't know what the future for her is. I feel sorry for her more than anything. She had it all hah. Real love, a real family, a future! Protection!
Now she has nothing but the club and her fake friends who only show affection to better uplift their idea on their personality morality.


She's only getting by because her mom who is bipolar & PD to the extreme is struggling financial and strongly dislikes her own daughter for she just sees herself in her. I fear for what comes next.