On FB and exgf has a new account, spying again?

[JerryRG]

On fb yesterday and the thing pops up asking, do you know this person, there she was "again" new account and using her bfs last name.

This is her third new account in the last year, can't help thinking she's spying on me, everytime I discover a new account and block it she creates another new one.

Or... .I'm just paranoid, after all she's always been so up front about things and has never been dramatic or manipulative.

She's still asking for us to meet so we can talk, HELLO! You told people I raped you!

How stupid do you think I am?

Have to laugh at her, she's really really out there in her own world. And yes I know she's suffering and I get that too and I hope she gets well. Me going to prison for her being out of touch with reality isn't going to help anyone.

[once removed]

everytime I discover a new account and block it she creates another new one.

thats attention. is there a need to block the accounts?

[JerryRG]

I don't wish to see her page or for her to spy on mine, I believe I have full security on mine so she cannot see anything, I have yet to test myself and see. I guess I could ask someone who isn't a friend on fb to look at my page and see what they are allowed to see?

It just keeps the drama at a lower level.

Thank you once removed

[kingpot]

My ex does that too, fake accounts are a part of BPD normal behavior... .

[Woods77]

I don't wish to see her page or for her to spy on mine, I believe I have full security on mine so she cannot see anything, I have yet to test myself and see. I guess I could ask someone who isn't a friend on fb to look at my page and see what they are allowed to see?

It just keeps the drama at a lower level.

Thank you once removed

Hey Jerry, one thing that might help is to give facebook a break for a bit? I know you enjoy it but what about an alternative that she doesnt know about to give you a break. If you like photos perhaps you could start a new instagram account or a tumblr page? If writing perhaps open a twitter account and maybe use that. Just an idea that might help you avoid the situation whilst not giving up too much of your social experiences. You might miss out on a few facebook events but you can always go back later.

[gotbushels]

Gosh Jerry... .quite the celebrity aren't you 

I guess I could ask someone who isn't a friend on fb to look at my page and see what they are allowed to see?

You could. fb also simulates this function.



Follow the "Who can see my stuff?" link.

Then under the topmost search bar you can select "Public" or "View as Specific Person".

If you designate the correct things as private you can check them using this function. Even if she makes another account it won't have a reason to concern you.

[JerryRG]

Thank you everyone

I believe I have security settings set up so no one can see personal stuff. The thing I've noticed is my exgf creates these accounts, uses pictures that I recognize from us being together, no people, just nature shots of clouds and things. Then no information on her, nothing, just her name.

I was wrong, after thinking about it, I think this is her 5th fb account since last Nov, that I'm aware of.

Fb is not a problem for me, I unfriend people who like drama. I don't know why my exgf creates these profiles if not to spy on people.

[gotbushels]

You're right, it could be that she makes them to spy on people.

You mentioned that she uses pictures that you recognise from your time together. It could also serve to attempt to draw previous boyfriends in.

[maddy786]

They always try to come back and treat you as a backup if her current relationship fails. My exBPD GF does the same thing. She blocks me often when she is screwing someone.

"No Contact" and "Ignoring Completely" rules should be followed. Persons with BPD want attention if they dont get it they are in pain. So just ignore them completely and live your life.

[gotbushels]

Yes sometimes that's true maddy786. pwBPDs are individuals and some do not return to previous relationships.

[JerryRG]

My exgf posted pics of when we were together, nothing else that I can tell. Maybe 10 pics at most? That's why I knew it was her, just nature shots of clouds and lake pics. She told me yesterday she missed driving around with me and taking pictures.

I told her I was still not ready for a serious relationship, I said this to help her understand I'm not ready, for her or anyone else. Her responce, she's not able to work on herself when she's with her bf.

I don't know if she's after me, like other pwBPD she's asking for attention, I don't think love has much to do with my exes relationships.

And just like you all describe, my exgf broke up with her bf and she contacted me immediately. I feel so honored, .

NO CONTACT, DO NOT ENGAGE

While we disgusted her getting help and her second guessing her choices I said.

Ask yourself this one question,

Are you better now than one year ago?

Two years ago?
Three... .
Four. ...
That should be your guide.

Your bf is beating you, abusing you, he lost his appartment,  his car, he's discouraging you from getting real help.
You're sick all the time, can't work, broke, broken, can't care for our son, umm and your happy?

Rocket science here