RTC Discharge FRIDAY

[Bright Day Mom]

Hi All,

After 8 months it is official, my girl is graduating from RTC on Friday!

We all have very mixed emotions.  We've been doing well and for the past 3 weeks she's been home Thursday after school, Friday, Sat, returning late Sunday. During these extended stays we've hit a few "bumps" in the road, but all in all got thru.

Upon discharge, so far an in-home therapist is visiting 1x week, plus she is seeing her social worker at therapeutic high school 1x/wk, more if needed and may be starting a girl's teen support group in the coming weeks.  What other support if any are we missing?  Any thoughts, words of wisdom... .we're excited, but very nervous same time.

Thanks for reading; have a Bright Day!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Yepanotherone]

Oh my BDmom , I can only imagine your sense of excitement mingled with angst , but it sounds like you've got some great support systems in place . Moving forward is fantastic news while nerve wracking I'm sure . It will be nice to have a little bit of normality back in your family home ( even though our "normal " is completely whacky with our BPD kids !)
Good luck for Friday, I'll be rooting for you xx

[473harman]

Oh - I am so happy for you. Remember validation, validation, validation

Can I ask - how long was she in RTC before she started to turn around?

All the best

[Bright Day Mom]

Yep, thanks for the kind words, you got it "normalcy", we'll see.  My nerves are definitely kicking in, just indulged in a Kit-Kat!   Oh well, guess it was balanced with my morning run!   Glad to hear your D has been discharged, take one day at a time, you're doing awesome!

437 - you got it validation out the whazoo!   We started seeing some positive signs about 3 weeks into the RTC program.   It is a huge adjustment not just for the child, but for the entire family.  I thank God every day for this day and make each one the best it can be.  How's your child?

[Yepanotherone]

How did the big day go BDmom ?

[Bright Day Mom]

Hi Yep, yesterday was a surge of emotions.  My D hates being the center of attention and unfortunately it was all about her last night. I thought it was really sweet that a few staff members that were scheduled off came in for her celebration (really nice people).  It is amazing how much "stuff" accumulates in 8 months... .we had to lower the 3rd row of seats in my SUV for all of it.  My D did have some overwhelming moments, but again she does not like to be fussed over.  Once we got home, we shared some laughs / small talk and she started unpacking; going to take a bit of time, but slow and steady wins the race!

Today is a new day and knock-wood so far so good.

How are things progressing w/your D?
BDM 

[wendydarling]

Hi Bright Day

I'm back from a weekend away, on catch up. I wish you and your family well settling back in and forwards, a momentous time for sure after all your hard work and your girl. 

Thinking of you BD, onwards we go 

WDx

[Bright Day Mom]

Hi WD, thanks for the well wishes.  It is a time of transition and I think it is going relatively well so far.  One day a time, right?

Hope your weekend away was relaxing.

BDM

[473harman]

HI BD Mom - she's adjusting - it's just 4 weeks today (although it feels like forever). They feel that she's about to have a breakthrough, but unfortunately we know what precedes that. I'll be seeing her in the beginning of November and am very nervous/excited/anxious.

Hope all is well with you.

[Bright Day Mom]

473 - I am happy to hear she is beginning to adjust to her new program; that in itself is HUGE! The breakthroughs they have while in RTC's care is handled by professionals and may not result in the typical downward spirals that many of us are accustomed to.  I think it is normal to have such mixed feelings about your visit in a couple of weeks. Hopefully the staff will be able to  take the lead and make it as positive as they can. 

Today is 1 week for my D returning home and it has gone fairly well; we've been on-time to school every day w/no arguments (YAYYY).  We are taking it day by day.

[wendydarling]

Bright Day, you have been in my thoughts, pleased to hear week 1 news, day by day for sure, a bright one too  I'm lying on the floor at the moment, just for me, grounding me after a week of busy work! Feels so good. Hope ahead, always.

WDx

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Bright Day Mom]

WD, thanks for checking in.  The moments just for you have helped me too, Love it!

Yes, hope and bright days ahead for all I pray.

Make it a Bright Day

[Yepanotherone]

So happy to hear week 1 has gone okay   albeit with a few blips our life would be boring without these blips though huh  
My DD is driving me to distraction the last few days ! She is pushing and pushing the boundaries and is so strong willed , she tries to wear me down . She doesn't try this BS with her dad though !
I have burning eye syndrome today due to lack of sleep last night . She texted me at midnight saying one of her friends was having a panic attack , so can she drive over to her friends house to stay the night with her . Errrrrr... .NO ! 1) she needs her sleep and has already spent the night at her friends house 4 nights last week .  2) she has an appointment with her new psychiatrist at 9am 3) being only 16, she's not allowed to be on the road after midnight ( state law) ,4) she has a school exam . Would she let up ? Oh no ! On and on went the texts with " well if my friend is dead in the morning it's YOUR fault " accusations . I told her if she was that worried , let's call  the police to go visit . I eventually got up , went through to her bedroom and told her to quit it or else I was going to lose my temper ! No means no !
I spent the whole night listening to make sure she wasn't sneaking out .
I often ask myself how much of this is normal teenage 16 year old Behaviour and what is attributed to the BPD ?

[Yepanotherone]

Oh , she had her first appointment today with the new psychiatrist . She said " he's okay " but that's all I got because she's in the huff with me after last night .
I was working so my hubby took her , I've not had a chance to catch up with him yet about how it went . Just had a call though from the Dr's office from his nurse practitioner , I had a quick chat with her and she said this new Dr doesn't think my DD is bipolar at all and wants her off the trileptal at least ( because it interacts with her birth control pill  )  he's leaning towards BPD as the stand alone diagnosis . Here we go again !  

[Bright Day Mom]

Hi Yep,

We're progressing well (fingers crossed this continues) as we are operating like a different family with nearly any disagreements and definitely no "tone" problems (YAY).

It's good your DD think her new PSYD is "Okay". After all, it was only her first meeting, so good for her!  As for her not being bi-polar, then the trileptal may be having a negative affect on her.  She may actually start feeling / acting better, I hope so!  When my DD was slowly eased off one of her anti-depressants she began feeling more "herself".  Maybe this change in meds will have a positive outcome.

I know too well how their strong will can get in the way, but you did the right thing by standing your ground and keeping the boundary in check. One thing that our family has learned is not to engage them when the "tone" stinks and they are relentless.  We have a house rule electronics stay downstairs during bed time so a little peace of mind that she won't get triggered by a text, post, etc. while we're sleeping.  We also have an electronics free dining table too. No distractions during meals, we all work too hard not to enjoy a family meal together!

You're doing great - hang in there and try to get some much needed / deserved sleep.