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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: The calm before first MC  (Read 495 times)
formflier
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« on: February 28, 2016, 06:50:36 AM »



Last couple days have been calm.  Have done several really fun things as a family and have gotten a smaller projects done around here.

I'm relaxed and ready to listen to whatever she has to say.  That's about the extent of my strategy right now.

Curious what to do/say if she clams up.

FF
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TheRealJongoBong
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« Reply #1 on: February 29, 2016, 09:02:54 AM »

Good luck on this. If my wife is any guide the first MC secssion will be the airing of the laundry list of all things terrible about you. Following that there may be several sessions where not much happens until she starts feeling more comfortable and safe, and that's when the gloves will come off. Also, if you find that the MC turns out to be one of those who's chief skill is to say "You'll get along better if you just get along", then find a new one. Watching YouTube videos is more therapeutic than that.
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