I can't stop crying...suggestions please

[michel71]

My heart hurts. As much as I wanted this and know it has to be this way it is excruciating. I keep going into the bathroom to cry so that my little girl does not see me.

To make matters worse, my little girl wanted me to watch Paddington Bear and Minions with her. Both of which have scenes of England. My wife is from the UK and we went to a lot of the places that are in both of the films. Torture.

I need to hold it together. I am leaving tomorrow and it is my last day with daughter. I want to make the best of it and not be wallowing in my own pain and sorrow but it is just do damn hard.

Can anybody suggest how I can get through today and keep from crying?

[Hisaccount]

Very sorry. I have been there.
Focus on the FACT she was not good to you or for you.
This is an addiction like alcohol.
When the urge comes do sit-ups or push-ups as many as you can.

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hey michel71  :  

One quick technique to start with is to focus on a breathing exercise.  I like the 4-7-8 exercise. You can do it without anyone noticing. Focusing on your breathing rhythm and counting can divert you away from the urge to cry. Check out the link below:
Breathing: Three Exercises - Dr. Weil
www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART00521/three-breathing-exercises.html

Another method is to postpone the thoughts that are making you cry.  It can take some practice, but when you go to the restroom, write them down somewhere (perhaps make a note in your phone).  After writing them down, steer you thoughts to something else. Your plan will be to save the thoughts and review them for when you are alone and can let loose with your feelings.  Some of the tools below can be helpful:
Finding Alternative Thoughts
www.dbtselfhelp.com/FindingAlternativeThoughts.pdf

IMPROVE THE MOMENT

MEMORY MGMT. -  [HAVE POSITIVE CONTROL OVER YOUR MEMORYl]

MEMORY MGMT. - RUMINATIONS

The links below might offer some assistance for another day:

MINDFULNESS EXERCISE - FROM BOOK" HAPPINESS TRAP"
https://www.thehappinesstrap.com/upimages/Informal_Mindfulness_Exercises.pdf

12 minute Thought Stream Meditation with Dr. Mike Dow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0Lo5tUXkVI

[michel71]

Thank you so much. i am going to try those.

[Portent]

Keep crying. Cry until you are done crying.

Real men cry. Let it out eventually your tears will end and you can start to get on with your life.

[ynwa]

Hey Michel,

I would tell you that you aren't the only one crying.  It's ok.  You are handling it well, and don't be so hard on yourself.