BPD aware of their condition in divorce?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I'm currently going through a divorce and of course it's not fun. The soon to be ex has been talking to me for years about personality disorders, diagnosing everyone in her life with one or another (NPD, BPD, etc.). The ex spends a lot of time on PD websites, going through blogs etc.

I'm wondering whether the ex is and has been aware of their condition, knowing full well that when we were married, it would end up this way. It happened in ex's first marriage as well as previous relationships and I'm wondering if this pattern could be brought up in court? If someone is already planning their eventual exit from the relationship and calculating how much they can get out of it, wouldn't this be premeditated? I'm sure this is hard or impossible to prove, but I'm wondering if it bears bringing up and gathering information to support it?

Thanks!

[Butch13]

I'm currently going through a divorce and of course it's not fun. The soon to be ex has been talking to me for years about personality disorders, diagnosing everyone in her life with one or another (NPD, BPD, etc.). The ex spends a lot of time on PD websites, going through blogs etc.

I'm wondering whether the ex is and has been aware of their condition, knowing full well that when we were married, it would end up this way. It happened in ex's first marriage as well as previous relationships and I'm wondering if this pattern could be brought up in court? If someone is already planning their eventual exit from the relationship and calculating how much they can get out of it, wouldn't this be premeditated? I'm sure this is hard or impossible to prove, but I'm wondering if it bears bringing up and gathering information to support it?

Thanks!

[ForeverDad]

There has been discussion over the years, Do they know, or not?  The jury is still out.  For example, I'm sure my Ex knows because she has a sharp memory of my faults but nothing applies to her.  She knows precisely the things to claim - "My son told me... ." - to get allegations investigated.  She knows how far she can go and still get away with her misbehaviors and not viewed as 'actionable'.  So how could she not know?  Yet when a mind is as skewed as that, when perceptions and moods are the reality, who can really say?  That sense of Denial is pervasive in their lives.

The impression many here have gotten is that the court generally doesn't try very hard if at all to change a spouse or parent who is behaving poorly.  Maybe if it's really bad they can order Anger Management classes but even that is just completion and not "passed".  It seems courts deal with the litigants as they are, not as we or others want them to be.