Going to tell the story in stages would be too long

[Tlw300300]

I am going to give a overview there is no way I could relate everything. I meet my so in feb 2015 she was beautiful but aloof. I did not pursue her but, kept running into her around town. I had been divored about 4 years and had some LTR relationships but, always ended them when they got to serious or I realized they weren't the one. She was leaving a four year relationship with a "narcissist"... In May she texted me "remind me again how we meet" we started a text dialogue no sexting just usually stuff. We meet for a concert and spent the night together it was fantastic. From that night I we were virtually unseperated I really knew it was getting serious but, this is the first woman since my divorce I didn't want it to end, but I still wasn't ready for the next step. Her mother made a comment one time "you can't love her enough" I had no idea what that comment really meant. After, three months and no hint of anything to come we are standing in my apartment and she says "my boys will be back and with you living here and me living there I know myself and this won't be enough for me" . We disagree on the next step but one of us said let's move in together. She said it's me and I say it's her. She also says what she really meant was if she wasn't there all the time I would be out chasing other women. Either way I agreed to move in even though I knew I wasn't ready. But, I wasn't ready to end this relationship like all the others.
First conflict. After starting to move in she was planning a bday party and went through my Facebook friends and decided that she was not my type that I only like blondes.
I came home to her crying that she was not my type and she had fallen in love with a shallow man who was all things she hated and anyone that can like blonde Barbie dolls, bimbos etc can't love her. She needs to be my it. This lasts hours. Anything I tried to say she had an answer for. She had looked at virtually every woman's pictures that I had commented on or tagged. This began the first breakup cycle. I tried initially to be understanding but, it became a topic that never went away. Then it morphed into you don't love me like I deserve, you don't love me at all.  Eventually, I just shutdown then I get you can turn love on and off. I felt attacked, I felt it was personally and I think telling me that there's something wrong with me raised my own internal issues.
This conflict raised feeling just like I had when my marriage ended. I know I started making decisions based on protecting myself that fueled her fears.