BPDxw will re-distribute my personal/financial records. How to prevent?

[trappeddad]

My ex has asked for me to produce some financial documents for upcoming court hearings.    Normally I would follow protocol and produce them.    However, she has given this personal/financial and embarrassing info of me in the past to her friend, who then emails it to my family/friends to humiliate me.  

Thoughts on how to stop this from happening again?    Should I get a sworn statement from her that she will not re-produce and distribute this?    :)o I have grounds not to send potentially humiliating info about my finances to her if it does not deserve merit?
Should I produce it and ask the judge that she be held in contempt if that is re-sent/distributed?      

[ForeverDad]

That may be a legal question depending on your state and more than just a peer support question.  Often the courts take a hands off approach to much of the conflict in divorces and related information.  On the one hand I believe most divorce cases are public record to some extent.  On the other hand, some things are sealed by the court.  An example of a sealed matter can be a custody evaluation submitted to the court.  I recall my lawyer telling me the court was extremely sensitive to such reports.  He said this was because many years ago a father got a good report, photocopied it and went around the neighborhood putting copies on each car.  I presume he wanted everyone to know how misrepresented he was by his ex, but you can imagine that the court was quite peeved.  I don't know what his consequences were, but yes there are some things the courts keep confidential and do not want distributed.  You may have to get a legal opinion on what you can do.  A variation on your idea is that you get the lawyers to confirm that information shared from either parent stays within the lawyers' offices and doesn't go home with the litigants.  And of course you make sure each page shared has "CONFIDENTIAL" or something similar imprinted on it.  Would that help?

Too, understand that information subpoenaed, such as by interrogatories, are sent along with the statute listing severe consequences.  Those consequences have more bark than bite.  I recall in my divorce we never used them.  But later when I was seeking Change of Circumstances for custody, my ex's lawyer sent a divorce type interrogatory.  Legally I had to provide the information.  We returned 600 pages.  Since her lawyer wouldn't respond to my lawyer's queries, we got peeved and sent focused questions.  What did we get back?  0 pages!  I was so upset that I wasted all my time on it and my ex just ignored hers - and no one pursued consequences.