Just realized that my husband has BPD

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

seven years into our marriage and I just realized that my husband is ill with BPD. It has been tough throughout our relationships - be he's been projecting his feelings on to me and I've believed it all this time... .I feel very angry, I also feel stupid and depressed... .

[Susana9]

seven years into our marriage and I just realized that my husband is ill with BPD. It has been tough throughout our relationships - be he's been projecting his feelings on to me and I've believed it all this time... .I feel very angry, I also feel stupid and depressed... .

[formflier]

  I feel very angry, I also feel stupid and depressed... .

Completely normal feelings to have.  I remember my "ahhhh haaa" moment years ago.  It was life changing and confusing at the same time.

The next shocker (most likely) is to figure out there are other people that have had similar experiences and CAN HELP you get back to a more normal life.

How does that sound?

Please come back and post regularly.

Few questions.

How did you figure this out?  Does he have a diagnosis?  Anyone been to therapy or has marriage counseling been attempted?

Are there children involved?  Are you guys still living together?

FF

[Lucky Jim]

Hey susana9, Welcome!  We get it and, as FF suggests, most of us have had the same "lightbulb" moment,  In my case, it was 9 years into my marriage.  Who knew?  BPD is under the radar for most people and receives scant attention in the media.  You are not alone and a lot of us have been down this path before you, so feel free to share and let us know if you have any particular questions.

LuckyJim

[Susana9]

 
seven years of everything being my fault, a multitude of unfairness ... .each time it felt like my spirit is being broken... .I can't get over it - how stupid of me to never even suspect a mental illness ? he is a high functioning borderline - f... k, f... k, f... k 

[Lucky Jim]

I can't get over it - how stupid of me to never even suspect a mental illness ? he is a high functioning borderline

Hello again, Susana9, As I said above, who knew?  No, you're not stupid so don't beat yourself up.  BPD is a subtle disorder which includes periods of relative normalcy, so its hard to get a handle on it.  You have good company here as many of us took a long time to figure it out.  Suggest you be kind to yourself.  Fill us in, when you can.

LuckyJim

[JMJ]

I'm in the same situation.  It's good to have company.