uBPDex had Physical Pain?

[Zemmma]

Can anyone comment on this? My BPDex who keeps breaking up and coming back has admitted something I did not know.

In the beginning he was getting together with me just as he was going through the difficult process of leaving his marriage. He was still living in the marital home with his 4 year old daughter. It was too soon for us to get involved obviously, but my h had just left me and we were clinging together at a horrible time as we went through the process of moving out of house with our exes (my h didn't leave for 8 months, he didn't leave his house for 4, so there was a long period of overlap when we were "broken up" with our exes but still co-habitating).

During this time he was having physical pain in his chest. He would sometimes roll up in a ball and lay on the floor. During one dark time he used to go to a graveyard down the road and smoke and hide and cry and assume that same position on the ground. I thought that pain was mostly to do with the loss of his marriage, and decision to have to split up his family. It seemed a bit like a panic attack, I thought?

But the feeling followed him. And he felt it when we were together. And through all the bizarre, very BPD behaviours that involved his stalking, breaking into my phone, suspicion, doubting and devaluing me... he had this pain.

He says he had this pain even in our last year together... this is 4-5 years after the divorce. He didn't tell me at the time.

He left me and says that the pain has gone away.

He says I am the best thing that ever happened to him. He said he will be my lover whenever I want but he has stated honestly that for many reasons he can not promise he won't break my heart again.

Has anyone heard of this chest pain? Is it a BPD thing? It seems to be attached to me, or the intense attachment we have. He runs from me and it goes away. Any insight would be appreciated. He still claims to love me above all else, putting me in a category with only his daughter. Very confusing and I don't know how to help him or if I can. He can't seem to walk away but he also can't seem to stay. My friend with a mom who has BPD said maybe I just have to love him one month at a time.  It's a joke, but a little too accurate.

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[Lollypop]

Hi

My DS gets physical pain in his right shoulder. He says this is two-three days after taking drugs or when he's stressed. He's hyper sensitive and says he can even feel a paracetamol within his bloodstream. I know that if he feels something then, to him, it's fact.

he can't seem to walk away but he also can't seem to stay.

This must be so confusing for you. BPD behaviours can be so contradictory - conscious thought versus subconscious. His own internal conflicts must be challenging for him but it sounds like he's trying to be honest with you by telling you that he can't make any promises.

Is he in any therapy?

LP

[Mutt]

I'm not saying that this is correct, in fact it's just speculating, none of us are professionals and cannot diagnose, only a professional can do that! I just found this article interesting, pwBPD are less likely to seek help for chronic pain, chronic pain with pwBPD could manifest itself because of the inability to self sooth and to elicit a caring response from loved ones.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3280073/