how to gradually enhance when things are sort of ok?

[incadove]

I'm curious what people have done to strengthen relationships when they are in a sort of ok stage, not close but in contact with positive text or occasional in person contacts.  I'm at different stages with my two dd's, and looking for sort of creative things people have done to just gradually strengthen the relationship without cycling or clinging.

I give occasional gifts, try to get together for meals, and with one dd we have had a lovely time doing volunteer stuff together.  We don't touch on the hard issues, right now, which is fine with me, because I think we both want things to improve and not blow up.  With my other dd we can't really spend much time in person without things coming out, but we can be kind and positive by text. 

I want to build up because right now they are both doing pretty well but vulnerable, and I want to strengthen our relationship so it will sustain whatever comes, and I can give the right support during this young-adult stage.  I feel like if I just go merrily along with my own life I won't be ready for when the downs occur.  What else do people do to build stronger connections?

Thanks everyone on here!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Feeling Better]

Hi Incadove

It's great that you are trying to build stronger connections with your dds, and I wish you lots of luck.

When my son and me first started trying to repair our damaged relationship we used to meet up and go for a walk together. Sometimes we would talk about our problems and sometimes we didn't but at least we were spending time together. I have a dog and I always used to give the lead to my son so that he could walk the dog because I thought that would help with his stress levels. Dogs can be really calming for us humans. The fresh air and the beautiful countryside around where I live were an added bonus and I always thought the walks were very therapeutic for us as we always parted amicably at the end of each walk.

Hope you find what I have written useful x

[incadove]

Yes thank you!  Some of our best conversations and times have been on a certain hiking trail.  Walking the dogs is also good as it lets us focus on them and the fun they are having. 

Thank you for reminding me the power of just walking together.  I think I will try that, esp with one dd where we usually seem to fight in the car, something about bad memories or enclosed spaces sets us off.  A walk would probably help.