Back With Some New Issues

[Briarius]

Hi everyone!

It has been some time since I was here. I spent some time getting a Master's Degree in Counseling so that took up a lot of my time. SD moved to her dad's 5 years ago after all of the blowouts with us. She seemed to do better there and it was better for a time. Over the last 2 years, her behavior has been ratcheting up again.

However, I will post all about that at a later time. In my introductory post, I mentioned that I suspect my wife has BPD, but after some observation and thought. I no longer believe she does, I believe the traits I see are a result of trauma in dealing with her daughter. Now, granted, my wife does have anger issues, tends to see the world in black and white, and has anxiety. However, these traits are not all consuming and unchanging. In fact, they have severely diminished in the years after SD went to live with her dad. Now, here's the question. How do I help my wife?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Briarius,

Welcome back and congratulations on your Master's degree!

I've tried to digest what you are saying here... .I would just say that I think that the communication tools offered on the site are helpful for any relationship. I feel like whatever happens with my current relationship with my upwBPD traits I will have served myself well long-term by just learning these skills and becoming a better communicator.

I think the resources can help with anger issues, black and white thinking, and perhaps not feed into anxiety. What do you think? Do you feel ready to work on yourself as a way to help her? Have you had a chance to go over the lessons? I have also found that setting aside all I thought I knew about relationships and starting with a fresh/clear mind helps me to take on these new approaches.

Why do you think things might be "racheting up" again?

Good luck to you!