I'm so afraid to loose her, I'm not ready

[Monkiikii]

hi everyone !

I met this girl on tinder in august, and we met in real life in september. We fall so deeply, so quickly for each other. I have BPD and she has it too. So we can really understand each other. Sometime it was explosive, sometimes it was really sweet. I'm her first girlfriend and she is afraid to sleep with me, but I know that she is sleeping with a lot of guys, even now :/ (I can manage non-exclusive relashionship, or I try to numb completely idk)
I've learn to stop being codependent, and I feel that I'm back there with her. But on the other hand, I feel soo strong when we are together and I really want to give it a try.
I'm the warrior type. But she is not like me. She is afraid of falling in love. She said she has made too much work to stop being codependant and she doesn't want to become codependent again. She said that it's better if we part now that we're only on the beginning.
She doesn't see that she is afraid of living and that if she can't live, that's because she focused her work on "i need nobody, I have to be alone" instead of "It's ok, I can survive even if it's over".

I think it's a blessing that we have found each other. That it's easy to find the right word or to understand each other.
I want to persuade her that she is making the biggest mistake of her life avoiding to live.
I can see she wants to be with me but she is still saying no.
I'm so afraid to loose her, I'm not ready. Though my heart was dead but she resurrected it.

do you have some tip, some ideas or things to say to persuade her to give it a try?

THX a lot for your answers and sorry for my bad english.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Woolspinner2000]

Welcome to the board, Monkiikii 

Sounds as if you've found someone that you really like and want to spend time with. Since the relationship is still fairly new, don't be afraid to allow some time for things to settle and for you each to find your way. It's good that you have learned how to manage your codependency as you mentioned, and it is normal to have it come back up, especially when there is concern. Being aware that you may be heading back into being codependent can be a red flag, and it is good to pay attention when you feel that way.  We follow our emotions so easily, but they are not the best guide to help us. What are the facts, and how do they look if you step back and take a deep breath?

Wools

[Monkiikii]

Thx for your reply, you're totally right.
She came back to me, totally drunk (but at the time i wasn't really aware of that) that night she told me she loves me like nothing, that I was the more lovable person in the world, that I was hers, that she wanted me so bad... .

but the next day, she was just so cold and so far away from me. We ate together on monday and we found out that she made a black out at that time. And I told her what she had done and now she doesn't want to see me anymore. She blocked me from everywhere.
I know she talks to a guy to forget me, to put her feelings on him.
I know I have to leave because she hurted me too much.
But I can't stop hoping that she is thinking of me, that she will never forget me. She said she forget easily the people like me.

will she forget me? Will she come back? Does she love me? Was I even something for her?
I don't really want her back because I know it's mean to fail, but it's a waste since we were so meant for each other.

I want to let her go, but somehow I can't.