My diagnosed son 27 finally did a "partial hospital program," which was 5 days a week, 5 hours a day, group plus individual work, DBT and maybe also some MBT. This program was a game changer. It felt like a miracle. All is not well now, months later -- far from it -- but the experience of that program gave us very serious new hope, and he gained some skills that are definitely sticking with him. So look forward to his next treatment venture, whatever it will be.
We've been dealing with his symptoms and terrible struggles for 13 years. It all takes time, and BPs famously come and go from treatment. This is a protracted and desperately painful process so much of the time. That has been our experience so far.
I feel very clear that one of the most important things is for those who love the BP to learn as much as we can about the disorder. Keep learning, keep practicing the techniques. It can REALLY make a difference in the quality of life of everyone involved. Validation has sometimes produced startlingly positive moments. Whenever I see how effective good skills on my part are, I am encouraged to keep learning. This site, and
www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com/, have loads of resources, and there are several excellent books that I've found extremely helpful. I recognize that I need to learn and practice the tools much much more. I am on the waiting list for a 12-week workshop, which is also offered online (see NEABPD link above, "Family Connections".
I agree, it is incredibly frustrating how hard it is to find optimal therapy and good resources. Bottom line: we're in this for the long haul, and it is very very hard.
