Recovering from threats and anger

[GoodMom]

My adult child can devastate my husband and I with his fluctuating moods. Threats, distorted memories, cruel comments. I need help managing my reactions, not knowing how to not engage when his mood explodes, not getting trapped in a revolving door of “hearing” his insults, etc. I have two grand children who he threatens to keep from when we ask for him to be respectful, or listen to another perspective. We love our son, but he’s a mine field. We have ordered the book and workbook “Stop Walking On Eggshellls”. We went through this with our daughter 11 years ago. We are trained NAMI facilitators and taught the 36 hour Caregivers course for three years. Now our son is causing similar chaos. We need support because we thought at least we had one adult child we could have a life with. Intellectually I understand what’s going on. But my heart is broken. I’m afraid he’ll keep the grandchildren from us. We so much want to enjoy him and his family. It’s just devastating for my husband and I. We are very supportive parents, and we have always sought help with mental health issues we can’t understand. What we need now is not just a general NAMI support group.  After all, as facilitators of Care Givers support groups, we KNOW what advice to give ourselves. But it’s not enough.  We need a community that understands BPD/Narcisstic behavior and has suggestions for us.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hello GoodMom

Welcome to the community   I'm sorry what brings you here though glad you've joined us for support and learning with us. Parents here dealing with the devastating behaviours you are experiencing from your son and his threats to keep grandchildren from you, I'd be heartbroken in your situation. We love our children. You've been through so much, second time around and you always do your very best, that's what we do here.  

Are you conversant with the tools and lessons to your right   you mention managing your reactions, 'don't react, respond with S.E.T may help you, let us know what you think.

GM is your son aware of his disorder, how is his wife coping.

I joined bpdfamily 2 years ago and have never looked back, forwards we go together, small gentle steps

WDx