have had relative peace for a good six months and a nice Christmas season

[Dano5509]

I'm coming up on 18 yrs married and we have had relative peace for a good six months and a nice Christmas season.  Two kids left at home, one will turn 18 this summer and the other will be 16 soon. 

Despite all of the outbursts, black and white view of everything, constant somatic complaints, OCD germ phobia (extremely bad but I just dance around it), name calling toward me and zero sex since August, I still feel empathy for a little girl inside the 50+ yr old wife who was and still is deeply wounded and impacted by her upbringing.  Siblings are very similar and act out as well and I have just become used to it... .  Fantasize about my own life so I can finally move on as a single man who can just take care of himself... . 

She is working nearly full time for the last year after staying home for many years and the independence is good for her esteem.  Hoping she lands a full time job soon as I enjoy the quiet at home when I work out of our home office.  Once the last kiddo turns 18 it will be easier for me to walk away if she's working full time as I fear the divorce process with underage kids.  I've worked very hard in my industry and built up a very good annual income/retirement and hate to give up a chunk of it but realize it will eventually be the price for my peace. 

Still trying to not destroy my kid's (soon to be legal age) home... . 

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So you have learned to stabilize the situation, but its not rewarding?

What has worked for you?