Now lives with my husband and me

[blue-eyed bonnie]

What advice do you have when the parent with BPD becomes so old that they can no longer safely live alone.  No money is available for a nursing home, so she now lives with my husband and me.  Trying to escape the Karpman Triangle as the Rescuer has now become even more difficult as I am forced to be the primary caregiver to someone that has caused me a lifetime of pain and suffering.  If others out there are dealing with this problem, I would love to here things they are doing to better cope with this nearly impossible situation.  Thanks!

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Blue-eyed bonnie,   

Boy, that's a tough situation! I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. How long has she lived with you now?

A few other questions for you: what does your DH say about the situation? Is he supportive of you?

I'm glad that you've asked others here for their thoughts. While I have not been in your situation, I know that looking for options and what other choices there are can be empowering. Since it sounds as if nursing home care is not an option, are there day care centers where she could be cared for occassionally in order to give you a break? What type of help can you get to come in on a regular basis to give you time to care for yourself-even one day a week or on weekends? It sounds as if self care for you is going to be of utmost importance.

 
Wools