she hit me

[joshbjoshb]

Slapped me in my face again and again (glasses fell to the floor).

I stopped her, and now after the long complain about how "I" caused her to hurt me, and it's all because I am emotionally abusive to her, she also complains that her arm hurts because I hurt her.

Wow.

Pray for me.

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PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tired_Dad]

This is the great confluence of societal perception and the BPD brain.

Bottom line is that this needs to be recorded. A police report of the event will protect you as by her language she is already prepping the situation to claim abuse and as a male you are at a societal disadvantage for her accusations.

Make a report, keep a journal, keep your head. Be restrained in your self defense and leave whenever possible. When leaving ensure that you go to places where your location can be verified and that you have the location tracking on your cell phone enabled. It is not unheard of for an individual to self harm and claim abuse. I have seen it happen and if the male in question didn't have the trail of evidence that he did he would be in jail now (even though she was only scolded by the judge for making the claim)

Protect yourself first, legally and physically. That is the only way that you can be around to provide her support if you choose to or to protect your family if you have one.

Take care and good luck.

[Tattered Heart]

When she began to blame you for her behavior, how did you respond?
Can you leave the house when you see her begin to escalate towards violence?
Have you set up a plan for what to do next time she gets violent with you?

I think it's important to let our pwBPD know that their behavior is not ok. When she blames you, then you respond with "I understand that you were angry but hitting is abusive and I did not cause that." End of conversation.