Man I wish I could go NC

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I’m currently separated from uBPDw, we have a 5 year old boy. Divorce won’t be final till next Xmas.  My wife already has the replacement, she is now seeing the “light” with him which is hilarious after she poisoned our relationship with her abandonment fears for much of 10 years.

I honestly am disgusted with her and don’t trust her any further than I could throw her. I am no longer trying to save the marriage. The new guy appears to be a classic NPD who I called out and he of course can’t for the life of him see how innappropriate this is. I have learned he has two failed marriages in the last 6 years, neither of which lasted two years. The whole thing makes me want to vomit.

I did a great job of ignoring my wife for the past 5 days but today we were supposed to meet up so she could see our son before I go away with him tomorrow for a few days. She’s been spending a lot of time with the replacement this month but I’m going to be seeing him a lot less once I get back as the separation agreement kicks in. We ended up having an unproductive back forth that went south with me going after her over the boyfriend and her telling me to move on.

My wife is trying to control me and dictate terms with how we handle our son. I know she’s going to play games with me in an effort to use me as a source of supply for her BS and I want it directed at the NPD prick who assisted in screwing up my marriage by validating her immaturity. I don’t want to communicate with her at all if it’s going to keep the honeymoon alive.

The good and bad news is that I’ll only have my son every other weekend in 2018. The bad news is that I’m not with my boy, the good news is I shouldn’t have to interact with her that much because of it. My goal is to have joint physical in a few years.

I know it should be about my son and that’s it, but the marriage is only just ending and I seriously seriously hate this new guy she is with.

[TurbanCowboy]

I’m currently separated from uBPDw, we have a 5 year old boy. Divorce won’t be final till next Xmas.  My wife already has the replacement, she is now seeing the “light” with him which is hilarious after she poisoned our relationship with her abandonment fears for much of 10 years.

I honestly am disgusted with her and don’t trust her any further than I could throw her. I am no longer trying to save the marriage. The new guy appears to be a classic NPD who I called out and he of course can’t for the life of him see how innappropriate this is. I have learned he has two failed marriages in the last 6 years, neither of which lasted two years. The whole thing makes me want to vomit.

I did a great job of ignoring my wife for the past 5 days but today we were supposed to meet up so she could see our son before I go away with him tomorrow for a few days. She’s been spending a lot of time with the replacement this month but I’m going to be seeing him a lot less once I get back as the separation agreement kicks in. We ended up having an unproductive back forth that went south with me going after her over the boyfriend and her telling me to move on.

My wife is trying to control me and dictate terms with how we handle our son. I know she’s going to play games with me in an effort to use me as a source of supply for her BS and I want it directed at the NPD prick who assisted in screwing up my marriage by validating her immaturity. I don’t want to communicate with her at all if it’s going to keep the honeymoon alive.

The good and bad news is that I’ll only have my son every other weekend in 2018. The bad news is that I’m not with my boy, the good news is I shouldn’t have to interact with her that much because of it. My goal is to have joint physical in a few years.

I know it should be about my son and that’s it, but the marriage is only just ending and I seriously seriously hate this new guy she is with.

[Turkish]

What's the story on every other weekend custody, is it set for now? How is your relationship with your boy? Your r/s with him is the only thing you can control.

I get your pain. The mother of our kids introduced them to her paramour too soon after she moved out and it caused problems with the kids.  I don't think he is NPD, but certainly narcissistic.

Focus on your r/s with your son.  He knows who his father is.