Perhaps it didn't harm.
Did it help?
Again... .was there anything about the box of stuff or the note she left that indicated she wanted to have an in person interaction of ANY kind with you?
FF
Yes. We communicated. That helps, regardless of the content. She and I have done the silent treatment in the past and it just is not productive.
Well, regardless of whether or not I go to Florida for a few days with my daughters, I exist, and GF was treated incredibly well up to and including last Monday; and my daughters have THE RIGHT to know, and I have to explain where GF is to my daughters as a result of all that happened, so I believe I am entitled and have the right on their behalf to obtain the proper explanation I need and, to be honest, I obtained the necessary information the last 2 days. So we have communicated the last 2 days. The silence I knew would return has returned and she knows the truth about everything that happened as to this trip and that I won't just let her bulldoze me, privately or publicly, and twist what happened into an ioda of this being my fault, and yes that is important to me, as this trip was and is a huge deal to my daughters.
So did I ":)O" anything to warrant not being physically seen? Not CANCELLING another trip warrants not being seen by a Significant Other? That's not ok with me. At all, actually. Reason and logic for choices are part of the equation to me, as these decisions relate to my kids and, yes, I am an adult.
I realize this is not the big picture type thinking you are getting it; with that all said, there will be more than enough time for silent reflection forthcoming. I've just been reciting the facts that have happened in real time; there's not really a handbook on dealing with your new Significant Other has an ex who she still co-owns a residence with who has lung cancer surgery (I guess?) coming up soon which is causing the need for cancellation of a previously scheduled first "family" vacation together, initiated by the Significant Other on a date that really did not work for my kids but my kids made happen, and I promised them one way or the other this trip was happening. In other words, this is "Crisis" mode at the moment, and I'm doing the best I can.
So yes I am absolutely involved in drama right now, that is for sure - yes, I am part of the Drama Triangle; do I contribute to the drama in any manner? I suppose guilty as charged to some degree. Are these circumstances nearly unprecedented? Yes, in my life, they are. I'm doing the best I can. In time, yes, I hope to move closer to the middle of the Drama Triangle, and I do believe my opportunity to do so has now begun (this evening); i.e., the air has been sufficiently cleared for me to now begin that process and she and I will not be talking for multiple weeks is my prediction, not because of anger either.
Remember the real issue: it's not about my trip; this is about her ex spouse recovering in that house she lives in, right there with her and her 15 year old. The living together was a relationship "no-no"; me going on a trip with my kids for 5 days obviously pales in comparison to that living situation she is GOING to do, but just not coming straight and admitting to me. This is a MAJOR "fork in the road" that actually has very little to do with notes and emails and ceramic dogs and Disney trips; the father of her 15 year old could die as a result of this, so this is about as heavy as it gets; this drama is a real situation.
