Slow and steady mark our pace

[bluek9]

Hi all, I'm finding that I need to get this out of my head. I like to share the positive when it comes. The story of the tortoise and the hare is keeping my perspective on the right track these days.
        I can so relate to all the parents I read here about wanting change and answers RIGHT NOW. When I first posted I wanted the same thing, and couldn't figure out why it wasn't happening. My little nuggets of gold(peace and calm) where far and few between. Since being here on the boards my perspective has changed dramatically. Let me specify that didn't happen immediately either.
       I have shared about my daughter, our 2 hour drives to the psychiatrist, my frustrations and all the everyday stuff that bogs me down. I have shared the first things I tried to find sanity, like getting a housekeeper, and being actually being in weeks of calm with no melt downs.
       I now find myself at day 68(not that I'm counting ha,ha) of peace and clam, sleep and sanity, no melt downs, no screaming, no yelling, no demanding! And yes I've gotta say I actually heard the S word from my BPDD's mouth -- sorry, I was so taken back. So what has brought this result, let me share. A good Dr. who was willing to listen, a big increase in two meds., removing all stress and responsibility from my daughter, changing my work schedule, changing MYSELF and my thinking of her and how I deal with her, getting the housekeeper for myself, and of course this place.
       I came home last Friday from an all day event of going to the Dr. and my house was clean, it smelled nice, all the laundry was done, dishes done, and I found the kitchen towel's folded like flowers. In the last 8 days my daughter has been laughing, smiling, not sleeping all day, sharing her thoughts with me, and asking what she can do to help me with dinner. I know people, all these things sound like such little things. But I also know that here in my world of support you all get it; just how big these things are.
       Hence the story, slow and steady. The little things have been fought for hard, and they took their sweet time getting here. That tells me again I need to change and adopt the hare pace,, slow as a snail. I'll take what I can get. This morning my daughter actually said she feels better. I'm so happy for her. So yes let's be real here, I know this only a moment, and how ever long it last's is okay. Of course there will be hard days again. Only this time a round I'm better prepared to share my love for my daughter and help her through those hard times, and myself. Thanks to all of you for being here for me, and hope to all of you are joining us. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Hyacinth Bucket]

Thank you so much for sharing! I am so happy for you and your daughter. This is inspirational   

[heartandwhole]

This is such a great development, and message, bluek9 ! Thank you for sharing.

These windows of peace and calm that you have sound rejuvenating. I find that they give me strength to continue, and help me zoom out and see life in a broader context (which can be helpful and more positive).

It's great to hear that your daughter is feeling better. I'm sure your steady support has played such a big role in that.  

Thank you for sharing this much needed good news.

heartandwhole

[wendydarling]

This is brilliant news, thank you for sharing bluek9 and deserving of a celebratory dance  , I am so very happy for you and your daughter, and yes little break throughs are big, in my world they have legs.

I relate what you say rings true and loud and clear for me (BIG BELLS  , small steps, slow speed, day by day, change approach, helping myself, making space... .

I've found counting helpful, counting the last time DD was hospitalised, self harmed, was alcoholic dependent, her meds working ... .from the days to the weeks, to the months and to the years.

You've made my day bluek9 I remember parents saying to me keep doing what you are doing, I pass on to you. 

Wishing you a peaceful weekend.

WDx

[Merlot]

Hi bluek9

I think we joined the bpdfamily around the same time.  It really sounds like you have come such a long way in such a short time and like Wendydarling and heartandwhole it great to see such poairive posts it gives me hope that I am also effecting change even if I am still NC with my daughter.

Thankyou for sharing.  Have a great day.

Merlot

[Yepanotherone]

  bluek , I certainly completely understand celebrating the little things and I’m doing a happy dance right there with you 

The things we took for granted before the BPD monster took a hold of our children and we think our kids are lost for good . But when those snippets of what we recognize is absolutely to be celebrated xxx