Introduction: Looking for Information or Suggestions

[Vina]

Hello, I am new to the BPD Family and hoping to find some support. My 18-year old daughter has been struggling with Anxiety, Depression, OCD, ODD, ADHD, and substance abuse. (Personality Disorder was also stated earlier when we first brought to light our challenges about 5 years ago.)  In addition, she is extremely impulsive and has risky behaviors. (Along with self harm.) We have tried everything from Intensive Outpatient, Rehab and more recently she left a residential treatment program - which was a 10 month stay. She left the program in August due to insurance refusing to pay.

I am out of answers and unsure what to do. I have boundaries set and cut her off financially.  No matter how much I hold her accountable (with a few moments of weakness) she still finds a way to get what she wants. Every week we face a challenge where she is stuck somewhere at 4:00 am, jumps in random cars with boys she does not know and just recently "moved" to Vegas for 2 days and called home when in a very threatening situation. She is home now, but still lacks motivation to get a job, get her GED and even pick up after herself. She talks a good game, but never seems to follow-through on much.

I am putting a lot out there and there is so much more to our story. For now, this is the cliff notes. My hope is that I find some ideas/suggestions on what to do.  Also, if I have shared too much or too little... .please let me know. I am new and trying to be mindful to what I am posting.

Thank you all in advance for reading my post.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hi Vina 

Welcome here, you've come to the right place. This site is chock full of information and support.

I'm glad you found us, you are not alone 

~ OH

[wendydarling]

Hi Vina

I join Only Human welcoming you to the family. I'm glad you've reached out for support. Those are some cliff notes, many parents will relate to your situation you've tried everything, so very sorry you're going through this nightmare, you've a lot on your plate and with the insurance refusing to pay, does that mean she's in no treatment at the moment, are there any options in the future? I'm wondering what support have you have personally received during this time?

Despite you setting boundaries you say she gets everything she wants, can you explain a bit more, provide some examples.

How do you think your daughter may respond if you shared with her you were no longer prepared to save her from the situations she gets herself into, eg 4am callouts? Are you familiar with S.E.T under tools to your right? When we feel out of answers lesson 2 to your right can help  If your current approach is not working - change it. Is that helpful to you?

So glad you've joined us here, welcome again.

WDx