Adult child who is giving up

[doch]

My adult child is struggling right now.  He did graduate from college after six years and was studying for the LSAT. Three years ago he a a very bad newspaper article written about him that was false.  Although all the charges were dropped and there was "no information to proceed" and he had all charges expunged, the article lives on.  We have tried EVERYTHING to implore, beg, rationalize with the newspaper editor but he refuses to take it down.  He wrote a two sentence disclaimer that all charges were dropped and the record expunged but did not take the article down.

For the past three years this article has haunted and tormented my son and our family.  Our son just came into our room to tell me there is no reason for living because even if he gets a great score on the LSAT (and he will) no law school will take him because of the article.  Trust me when I tell you it is really bad and 90% false which is why it did not proceed.  But the damage is done. 

I told him that I felt it would come down and he would go to law school and show them all.  He told me that even if he finishes no one will hire him because of the article.  He is talking about killing himself and just getting it over with. My heart is breaking and no I can not call 911 as he talks himself out of being committed as has done so the last seven times I have called. I have just stopped calling. 

He is going to a BPD therapist weekly for the past month and will start with a ten week group in October but this is killing me emotionally and psychologically.  My new insurance is paying for all of this so I can not quit my new job. 

I don't care about myself but I just want to help my son.  Any and all suggestions are welcome. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Panda39]

Hi doch,

Suicide threats are always concerning, since you feel calling the police isn't helpful, have you tried reaching out to your son's Therapist?

Panda39

[Harri]

Hi doch.  I am very sorry to hear how difficult things are for your son and for you and your husband.

Have you had a chance to look at the tools and lessons listed over on the right side of the page?  It may sound hokey but a lot of the tools will help you to cope and in turn that can help your son as he continues to work in therapy.  Look through them and see which ones you think may help the most given your situation.  Of course you want to help your son as well.  using the tools consistently has helped improve many of the situations talked about on this site. 

Panda asks a good question.  Did your son sign a release that would allow you to discuss his treatment with his therapist?  Even if he did not, there is nothing to stop you from giving information to his therapist about his suicide threats. 

How was your son before the problem with the newspaper article came up? 

[JNChell]

Hi, doch. You wrote us a really informative post on where your Son is emotionally.

He is talking about killing himself and just getting it over with.

Is this happening often?

I’m sorry that this is happening. My son is 3, about to turn 4 and I worry about his emotional well being throughout every day. I’m a first time single parent on my own.

What is the allegation and the article about? Knowing and understanding this will help us help you. Can I assume that there was a romantic partner involved? Or is it something else.

but this is killing me emotionally and psychologically

I imagine that it is. I’ve been in your son’s shoes for different reasons. Can you share with us exactly how you’re feeling about all of this? We’d like to help if you’ll allow us to, doch.