Accepting The Betrayal

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Hi bpdfamily  

"The starting point for all trauma survivors is a complete acceptance of the betrayal."
- Patrick Carnes.

Today, I am coming to understand that my willingness to completely accept that betrayal is occurring in my adult relationships, is linked into my acceptance of the betrayal that I experienced as a child growing up. I am coming to see that I must completely accept this family of origin betrayal, or I will be bound to repeat it by playing it out in my adult relationships.

"The best thing we can do as wounded adult children is to try and begin to heal the realities we have for so long tried to deny, avoid, run from, supress and distract from."
- Lisa A. romano.

Thank you for listening  

[freespirit]

Hi bpdfamily  

"The starting point for all trauma survivors is a complete acceptance of the betrayal."
- Patrick Carnes.

Today, I am coming to understand that my willingness to completely accept that betrayal is occurring in my adult relationships, is linked into my acceptance of the betrayal that I experienced as a child growing up. I am coming to see that I must completely accept this family of origin betrayal, or I will be bound to repeat it by playing it out in my adult relationships.

"The best thing we can do as wounded adult children is to try and begin to heal the realities we have for so long tried to deny, avoid, run from, supress and distract from."
- Lisa A. romano.

Thank you for listening  

[Mustbeabetterway]

Hi freespirit,

Sorry for the trauma you have experienced. There are many experts who believe we play out what was not settled in childhood in our adult relationships.


Sounds like “what you resist persists”.  I believe this is true. I think we have to find what it is that is holding us down and come to terms with it.

Have you decided what steps to take to acceptance?  I guess the first step is one you have already taken - being willing.

Thanks for sharing. 

[gotbushels]

freespirit   

Thank you for sharing. I join Mustbeabetterway to support you through this time.

I want to share with you that I know that dealing with elements of betrayal by people close to you can be a difficult thing to go through, and that you're not alone on this. To follow on from what Mustbeabetterway mentioned, something that helped me around this place was knowing that just because I accept something doesn't mean I'll allow it to persist in the future. I think you can accept or forgive some thing even though you greatly dislike that thing itself. Me too, I hope you'll share what's next for you from here.