Terrified and lost

[kchef]

This is my first time in a forum so bare with me. After a year of trying to find help for my daughters EDO she was finally diagnosed with BPD. The EDO being a symptom of a much larger problem. She is 16 and currently in a lock down facility with nowhere to go. It's actually making her worse. She is chronically suicidal and we absolutely cannot bring her home at this point. We would not be able to watch her every move 24/7. She also has an NG tube and a super pubic catheter which isn't coming out any time soon. We have looked into different facilities nationwide but have come up empty handed finding a facility that will handle all of the issues. Does anyone have any suggestions? On a personal level i am falling apart. Right now to my daughter i'm the bad guy and my wife's the saint. It'll probably change by Thursday. No one understands what we are going through. I hate going to community functions and just seeing the pity looks and hearing their ridiculously uneducated advice. And most of that is coming from people in the medical field. I was finishing my degree finally after returning to school and managed to mess that up. I have to smile all day at work while i manage employees and clients in a very high level stressed environment. All i really want to do is scream and cry. Sometimes i walk into the Walk-In cooler or freezer and do just that so no one can hear me.My wife who honestly is the better equipped caregiver is on her last legs and my oldest son and youngest son are a mess. My wife is becoming more and more involved with work and her volunteering in order to keep herself busy and grounded. Honestly where as a few months ago i was on the bottom of the priority pile which is understandable, I am now not even in the pile. I know that sounds selfish but we all need to feel needed. I am now up to a bottle of wine a night before bed, and my doctor is upping my headmeds. I know i'm not alone but this really sucks. Thanks for letting me vent.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi kchef.  I am glad you found us.  We really do get it here and you are right, you are not alone, not anymore. 

Reaching out to us here is a good step to take.  Talking with others who are not going to give 'ridiculously uneducated advice' and who have walked or are walking a similar path can be quite helpful, healing even.

Please keep talking with us.   Whether you call it venting or sharing, we are here to listen and support you. 

I hope you get comfortable and settle in and read and post in other threads.  Ask questions about anything.  We may not have all the answers but we can see what we can come up with.  There is a lot of experience and wisdom here and we all help each other. 

Hope to hear more from you soon. 

[Only Human]

Hello kchef, welcome to BPD Family 

We have looked into different facilities nationwide but have come up empty handed finding a facility that will handle all of the issues. Does anyone have any suggestions?

I'm sorry you're having trouble finding a facility that can accommodate your daughter. I hope someone here can point you to something helpful.

You're right, this sucks! You have so much going on, it's understandable that you feel like you're falling apart. I'm glad you've found us - we've got you.

You use the acronym EDO - is that for eating disorder?

Again, welcome to the family kchef.

~ OH