This is great news Omega1!
It’s so awesome that you are finally happy again and that you two get along so well! I’m also glad to hear that you decided to follow through on your plans and signed the lease. I feel like this is a big step in the right direction.
I’m sorry that your daughter is so affected by the conditions at home, but you are all on the same page and looking for a change now so there is a good chance that things are going to get better for everybody in the future.
We still have disagreements but we are dealing with them differently.
Do you mind to elaborate on that? What makes the difference?
Is this because she's scared?
Possibly. But maybe she also feels relieved and optimistic?
She has said she's afraid we won't stay together, we will lose our connection. I have reassured her more than ever I am here and committed to us and to the girls.
If she is afraid of losing you, maybe come up with something that reminds her of your connection even if you are not physically together? For example a daily ritual or gesture or a symbol?
Will this positive phase last? What should I do now? We've agreed to take each day as it comes. I'm supposed to move tonight but she said, maybe take some clothes, etc - just a few things. I am afraid to be tougher because - I don't want to leave, I feel so so so happy right now, and also I don't want to damage how good she's feeling about us by making her feel I want to go.
First of all, enjoy the happiness and peace! You deserve it! There are probably going to be setbacks, but you already made the first step and you can always make another. I think you should do what feels right at the moment, but keep your goal in mind and be ready to stick to the plan.
I'm going to take one day at a time - for now, the plan is to work at the apartment (I work from home) and maybe sleep there a few days a week. I think that's a good transition. Up until a few days ago, I was so looking forward to the space and the time to myself, but now things are so incredible between us I don't want to be away from her.
This sounds fine for now, but be prepared to set up more concrete rules, this makes it easier to follow through in case of a setback.
But we both keep going back to the reason we decided I should move out - her daughter - so... .as long as we aren't fighting, I will stay those days and when it starts to feel tension or fighting in front of the girls, I leave. Does this make sense? Is it too disruptive for them to do this?
I don't think it's too disruptive if you can be firm but gentle. Do you think you can manage that and decide on the right moment to leave if things go south again?
