Looking for help with adult son with BPD

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hello - my son has been diagnosed with BPD.  Although he has had so many successes he has struggled with this on his own for sometime now.  It is only recently that he has come clean to us about what is going on.  He has a wonderful partner, doing really well in school and has a job opportunity.  But BPD has been a constant. 
After letting us know what's going and that he was actively seeking counseling he had a car accident today.  This is a trigger for him, mistakes.  We talked on the phone just focused on being grateful that he wasn't hurt.  I encouraged him to meditate and write down a gratitude list, to sleep and work out the details on repairs in the morning.
I am not sure of what I am doing and I don't want to nag him.  He has told us that he so grateful for our support and that he can talk freely without any judgement from us. 
I am looking for a support group in our area and some counseling for me.  I am also trying very hard to not break down and just cry my eyes out, I am very close to just crawling into bed.  Instead I have a very engaging job and doing some super challenging yoga. Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading to the end.  Encouragement and tips is all I am truly seeking.

[LD]

Hello - my son has been diagnosed with BPD.  Although he has had so many successes he has struggled with this on his own for sometime now.  It is only recently that he has come clean to us about what is going on.  He has a wonderful partner, doing really well in school and has a job opportunity.  But BPD has been a constant. 
After letting us know what's going and that he was actively seeking counseling he had a car accident today.  This is a trigger for him, mistakes.  We talked on the phone just focused on being grateful that he wasn't hurt.  I encouraged him to meditate and write down a gratitude list, to sleep and work out the details on repairs in the morning.
I am not sure of what I am doing and I don't want to nag him.  He has told us that he so grateful for our support and that he can talk freely without any judgement from us. 
I am looking for a support group in our area and some counseling for me.  I am also trying very hard to not break down and just cry my eyes out, I am very close to just crawling into bed.  Instead I have a very engaging job and doing some super challenging yoga. Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading to the end.  Encouragement and tips is all I am truly seeking.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Manifest32f]

Hello LD:
I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts and your ability to support your son so very nicely; he is very lucky to have you. It’s fantastic that he is sharing with you and tells you that he knows he can trust you. Trust is a big issue with BPD and it is very good news that is there.
I know how you feel and I understand your helpless feeling but you certainly seem to be helping him and giving him unconditional love and support since he felt comfortable contacting you after what happened. I am in a bad situation with my uBPDd who has severe anger issues and many a times tells me she doesn’t trust me! One day it’s all lovey dovey mom and next minute, I am the wicked witch!

[Only Human]

Hi LD 

I join Manifest32 in welcoming you to BPD Family and I echo what she says here:

It’s fantastic that he is sharing with you and tells you that he knows he can trust you.

He's triggered when he makes "mistakes" but knows he can count on you to listen without judgment, so important when supporting a pwBPD (person with BPD). I'm glad he wasn't hurt in the accident and you're right, the details can wait for another day.

You have come to the right place for encouragement, support, and tips; we get it 

You're on the right track, arranging counseling for yourself, looking for a support group, posting here. We don't have all the answers, but we all support each other here, without judgment. You don't have to do this alone.

Please share more, as you are comfortable, and ask any questions you like. We are here for you.

Again, welcome!

~ OH

[LD]

Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement.  It helps to start my day with such positive support. 

[livednlearned]

I wanted to echo what Only Human and Manifest32f have said, that you are doing something so right that he could confide to you and feel trust over making a mistake like that. It's also a good sign that he has a supportive partner and is doing well in school. Sometimes doing well can be a trigger for pwBPD because they fear losing connection to others through struggle.

And last but definitely not least he is in therapy seeking support for his issues.

How old is your son? You mention not wanting to nag him. Is there something you wish he would do that he isn't?